SLEEPING IN A BED OF ROSES

My mother used to say: “Marriage is not a bed of roses.” But I tend to disagree with her; marriage is just that; it’s just that we don’t anticipate all the thorns when we walk down that aisle. And speaking of beds reminds me of all the couples I know who have had trouble getting a good night’s rest while trying to sleep with their spouses.

The genius and I have had quite a time with that part of our marriage. Before we married he told me that he couldn’t sleep with another person in his bed, so at the beginning of our union we slept in separate beds; they were close together, but they were still separate.

After we had been together for about ten years, we bought a king sized bed and began the thorny path of trying to sleep in one bed. There were all kinds of obstacles, of course: children waking in the night, bathroom breaks, snoring, wiggling, cover battles, etc. But we stuck it out until we moved into this house thirteen years ago. Then began the sometimes nightly pilgrimage to the guest room. First, I would be the one to go, mainly because of his snoring, but it was so much trouble because I had to take my noise maker with me. Then I bought another noise maker for the guest room and could just turn it on if I had to depart.

About two years ago, the genius left the king sized bed and somehow just never returned. About that time we acquired Rufus, and because I had the big bed to myself, I allowed him to take the genius’ place. The dog, unlike my husband, likes to cuddle up and that doesn’t bother me.

Well, we have been discussing the matter and have decided to try sleeping together again. However, there are now three of us, and things are still a little rocky at this point. Rufus was so overcome with joy the first night we were all together that he awoke the genius in the middle of the night to give him a good face washing with his tongue. And then many mornings the genius gets up about 4:30 or 5:00 which wakes Rufus, who then wants to go out, etc.

I think we are about to get it right. If the genius gets up early, he takes Rufus out, feeds him, then leaves the bedroom door ajar so Rufus can come back in and not try to scratch the door apart. They both then let me sleep until a decent hour, (although one morning I awoke to find that Rufus had completely taken apart one of the pillows).

As I said at the beginning, this is not an unusual problem for couples, especially at our age. Many pairs I know either have separate beds or rooms. And one couple even sleeps on different floors!!

I am flexible and can do any or all of the above, but please just let me have my own bathroom --- there I draw the line!!