UNDERWEAR OF YESTERYEAR

When we were children, we wore underclothing that was quite different from that of today. We dressed much more warmly because we had to walk to and from school. (No, it was NOT five miles uphill both ways, it was about half a mile that was mostly level except for one small hill.) So there were layers of underwear that children don’t wear now.

In the winter we girls always wore a sleeveless undershirt much like a thin tank top. In addition, because we always had on dresses (pants to school were unheard of), we also wore a full slip shaped like a sleeveless dress over the undershirt. The thin-strapped slip was part of the passage into womanhood and came later when a girl began wearing a bra. Our underpants (the real star of today’s blog) were made of a thick nylon and were loose like boxers; they were held up with elastic than ran through a band around the waist. We did have long wool pants that we called leggings for especially cold days, but they were discarded as soon as we got to school.

One day during that memorable third grade year, I was eating lunch in the cafeteria. After I finished, I started walking to the window to deposit my tray and was halfway across the room (right in front of the 8th grade table) when disaster occurred --- the elastic in my underpants broke and down they came, puddling around my feet. Imagine my predicament: My hands were full holding the tray, and my feet were caught by my fallen underpants. So I did what any smart third grader would do --- just kept my cool and shuffled along as if this happened everyday. Thankfully, my boyfriend of the moment came along and asked me if I needed help; I immediately thrust the tray at him and pulled up the offending piece of clothing, which I then clutched from the outside of my dress to hold it up.

When I got back to the room, Mrs. Hardcastle, who was trying to keep from smiling, handed me a safety pin. Instead of excusing myself and in private pinning the underpants together, I just nonchalantly pinned them from the outside to my dress and went around the rest of the day with a big safety pin at the waistline of the dress. I’m still amazed at my actions that day as was my family when they got the news.

After that incident, Mother did a thorough inspection of my clothes, making sure all my pants were in good shape so I would not embarrass them again.