TWO SCARY MOMENTS

There are two scary moments in a woman’s life: 1) When she realizes she is becoming her mother, and 2) When she sees that her daughters are just like she is. Then there is this terrible feeling that nothing in life is going to change.

I think I first began to understand how much like Mother I was when I cooked. I liked to fix a pot roast (that tasted suspiciously like hers) on Sunday and have it when we got home from church. And I fixed the same vegetables to go with it. Then the next night I would have hash with the leftovers. Until the children were in college, I fixed a hot breakfast every morning just like Mother’s: homemade biscuits (her recipe) or toast, eggs, and bacon or sausage. (I stopped doing this when the children went to college because the genius rarely ate breakfast --- he was up and gone usually before 6:00.) And I made sure that we had three squares a day, until the kids discovered the Golden Arches. Then it was more of a battle.

There were other ways in which I was like my mother. I had a love for reading like she did and would get engrossed in a good book rather than watch television. She and I never cared that much for the small screen, but preferred to read instead. And on a Sunday afternoon after the noon meal, she would read the paper lying down on the sofa in our den and then drift off to sleep. We all knew to leave her alone and let her sleep --- all of us except Daddy, who would e-e-ease the door open to see if she was still asleep and of course, wake her up. I always take a nap on Sunday afternoon, and thank goodness, the genius doesn’t wake me up.

Mother had a passion for speaking the English language correctly and made sure we did also. I remember she used to be driven nearly crazy by the baseball announcer, Dizzy Dean, when he would say, “He slud into second base and was SAFE!” She would say, “Just listen to him, why in the world would they have him as an announcer?” I finally comprehended that I had REALLY become like her when I began teaching English grammar, and corrected 7th and 8th graders for 18 years.

And then there came the time when I understood that in many ways my daughters were becoming me. But they were doing it in different ways. Ashley was following in the way of the kitchen like I did. Every Christmas she fixes various kinds of candies and cakes just like I did when she was young (and just like my mother used to do, also). This Christmas she said she fixed sixteen different recipes of these sweets to give away. It was a family affair when I was a child, and continued to be so on through the three generations. The children are always involved in the process in some way.

Unfortunately, Ashley is also like me in her messiness. She’s getting better as she gets older, as I did, but it’s still there. And it also is with Brenda. It just doesn’t matter to us if our beds are unmade or there are clothes on the chairs. We are all alike in that it gets to us after a while and we do something about it. But then the process begins all over again.

Brenda and Ashley are both similar to me in that they have always enjoyed their children. They both spend a lot of time with their kids, playing games, cooking, watching certain TV shows, and just hanging out. I was the same, and as I’ve said before, had to do something drastic when they left home, like go back to school.

I’ve probably exaggerated a little when I say I became my mother and my daughters are becoming me, because we are all our own persons. But it is sometimes a little scary how alike we are, often without even realizing it. And then one day we have an epiphany --- but it’s comforting to know that hopefully, the good traits are being perpetuated.