Addictions

My First Addiction

I was nine years old when I smoked my first cigarette. A neighborhood friend and I “borrowed” a package of smokes (unfiltered Pall Mall) from her mother and went to the woods in back of our houses and had an afternoon of fun. We pretended we were glamorous movie stars holding forth in some exotic Hollywood setting. Of course, we didn’t inhale, didn’t even know you were supposed to, but we had a ball letting our imaginations run wild.

Of course, her mother discovered the loss (duh!), and told me she wouldn’t tell my mother if I would promise not to do it again. In my mind, I was promising not to steal anymore from her, not to stop the smoking. Anyway, I didn’t steal any more cigarettes from her.

I soon discovered that I had two more friends on the next street who were just as adventurous as I was, maybe more so. One of them took a package of her father’s Home Runs (do you know how STRONG that brand was? I have heard them compared to Picayune’s and those almost knocked me down when I tried one as an adult.) Again, we didn’t inhale.

This type of activity continued until I was thirteen and out riding with my older sister (MA) and her boyfriend one Sunday afternoon. He took out his pack and offered it to us two girls. I said cockily, “I’d like one.” So he gave me one and when I had it going well, he asked me if I knew how to inhale. I said I didn’t, so he told me to take a big mouthful of smoke, open my mouth slightly, and breathe in. I followed his directions and began coughing violently. He thought that was really funny, but as I watched him, that’s exactly what he was doing!! I became so intrigued that I decided then and there to learn how. And eventually I did.

By the time I was in high school, I would sneak a cigarette or two at another friend’s house who had a room on the second floor that was away from the rest of the house. We could blow the smoke out of the window and somehow, we got away with it many times.

Then one night at a high school basketball game I was sitting with three other girls who said they wanted to leave at half time for a little while. Thinking they were going to get something to eat, I asked if I could go, too. I noticed that they hesitated a second and said, “Sure, come on.” The four of us got into the car and we drove to Green Hills Theater and parked behind it. Then they pulled out the surprise – they were having a smoke break and tried to swear me to secrecy. I laughed and asked for one too, and they could see that this was not the first time for me either. (Why was it that I always seemed to be drawn to other smokers?)

I kept up the intermittent smoking throughout high school, but when I hit the college scene, the nice little pastime became a full blown addiction. It was twelve years when I was thirty before I was able to kick it. I have to say that it was one of the biggest pleasures for me and to this day, I am still tempted to do it.