CHANGING PARTNERS

When the genius and I first married, I had heard some horror stories from his mother about how particular he was about the cleanliness of his clothes. For instance, she said that ever since he was a boy he would remove his shirt outside and play in his t-shirt to keep from messing up the outer shirt. BUT he didn’t want to wear the outer one again later because “it was dirty.” I knew I had my work cut out for me.

Oh, I’m not talking about working myself to death washing clothes. No, like all smart wives of the fifties (and all other decades since Adam and Eve) I was out to change him and make him see the light of so much waste. Why do we always think we can do that? We see or hear of their faults before marriage and just think, “Ah hah! They will be different after we marry and they listen to reason.”

The first test in this area came the day we were moving into our first apartment. It was a hot day in the last part of June and our tiny apartment was on the second floor of a house above two spinster piano teachers. The genius, who was very hot natured, decided he had to stop and cool off with a bath (there was no shower, only an old fashioned claw foot tub). So he jumped in and cooled off and used one of our brand new towels we had gotten for a wedding present. The thing is he did that four more times that day and each time used a clean towel. When I realized he had used up five towels, I said to him, “We only have eight! At this rate we’ll be washing clothes everyday!!”

Well. I didn’t have to try and change him after all (at least not in this area). Reality set in when we had to drag all the wash to the laundromat and lug it back up the steps afterwards. I couldn’t do it during the day because we only had one car and he had to use it for work. So he quickly learned by experience to conserve both his clothes and the towels.

That incident taught me a lesson that I have had to learn over and over again throughout our forty-eight years together. DON’T TRY TO CHANGE HIM; just be patient and eventually, he’ll see the light. Especially since I’m always right!!!

DECORATING THE HOMEPLACE

I don’t watch a lot of TV, but when I do, I enjoy the Home and Garden network. I get a kick out seeing old drab rooms become new and sparkling and sometimes I get ideas for my own use. But the other day I tuned in to a show that afterwards really got me to thinking.

It was one of those situations where a couple was trying to sell their house and the stars of the show were coming in to do a remake for $2000 or some miraculous amount. One of the first things said about the kitchen was, “Oh, that’s sooo eighties!” Then I looked more closely and thought, “That’s a lot like our kitchen! Oh no, I have an eighties kitchen!” (Our house was built in 1979.)

Fortunately, I didn’t panic and run out to home depot or one of those really expensive kitchen decorating stores. But I did start to think about decorating and why we do it. Of course, we have an eighties kitchen because that’s when it was built. I can understand changing out things when they are worn out or getting a new floor because it is hopelessly stained, but should we really get granite countertops, tile floors, and stainless appliances just because they are “in style”? And what about those houses that were built in the twenties and thirties or even the fifties and their owners try to keep that look going? What’s the difference between those decades and now?

Of course, the same could be said for clothes and fashion. But at least I try to buy reasonably traditional clothes that will stay in style a long time. And there’s quite a difference between the cost of clothes and granite countertops.

So I’ve decided to keep my kitchen the way it is for now or at least as long as everything’s working. Let’s hear it for the eighties!!

GENIUS DOG!

The genius and I often go to the Sonic Drive-In for hamburgers on Sunday nights. We do this for two reasons: 1) we love their burgers and 2) we can take Rufus with us.

The nearest Sonic to us is in Melrose (a section of town a few miles east of us) so we go a back way to get there without using the interstate. But many times we forget and get on the interstate because we are so accustomed to going that way to other places. Last night was such a time.

We were on I-440 before we realized that we had gone the wrong way and knew we would have to take a round about way to get to our destination. After a while Rufus, who was in my lap, started trembling like he does when we are going to the groomers at Petsmart. That’s when I realized we were going exactly the same route; in fact, we would have to pass right by the store to get to Sonic. So naturally he assumed that we were taking him to get groomed.

No matter how much I assured him that we weren’t going there, he continued to tremble until we had passed up the store and only then did he began to relax. When we pulled into Sonic, he was ecstatic because he was NOT going to visit Daisy, the groomer, and also because he knew he would get a few treats from my hamburger.

I had often suspected that Rufus could recognize where we were going but this experience proved just how smart he is.

The genius was so proud!!

HOUSEKEEPING

How I wish I knew why it is that most of the time I am not a very domestic person, but every once in a while the mood hits me and then I become the best housekeeper around. The last three days has been such a time for me.

On Wednesday I grocery shopped and also stopped at the veggie stand about three blocks from us and ever since I have been cooking up a storm. Everything has been fresh and from scratch and probably not very good for us, but it sure has been fun, both cooking it and eating it. And watching the genius eat it --- that’s the real pleasure. Last night even after a substantial dinner, he ate two helpings of peach cobbler a la mode that I had whipped up that afternoon.

I have also washed clothes to beat the band besides unpacking and storing away the luggage. Then today, I went on a cleaning tear in the kitchen and afterwards shampooed carpets until my back couldn’t take anymore.

Now my big question is why do I get these “spells”? And why can’t I keep the motivation going? I know myself well enough by now not to expect this season of enjoying housekeeping to last. But I would give anything if I were like this all the time and took pleasure in this kind of activity. (So would the genius!)

All I know to do is to keep at it as long as the mood stays with me and maybe one of these days it will be lasting. I’m such an optimist!

DISCOVERING A GOOD BOOK

I love to stumble upon a good book that I had had no idea I would enjoy and then have it be a jewel for me. That’s what I have recently done with The Shack.

Before I read it, I had heard both pros and cons about it; some said it was too liberal and others thought it was too conservative. What I have found in reading it is just plain interesting without putting labels on it. What I do know is that I can’t go racing through it; I have to take my time and absorb the ideas in it, and that’s not an easy task.

It is a fictional account of a man who has had tragedies in his life that he has been trying to cope with and how he is able to work through them. Sounds pretty mundane and depressing, doesn’t it? I don’t like reading about “bad things” in a person’s life, but for some reason, I stuck with it and I’m so glad I did. Besides being well written and interesting, I have found it very inspiring.

So, if you find the time and your curiosity is piqued, pick up a copy and read it. I would like to know what others think about it.

THE GENIUS, RUFUS, AND ME

JOY! JOY! JOY! I feel like I’ve died and gone to heaven! The genius is spoiling me rotten and I love it! I guess Rufus wasn’t the only one who missed me while I was in San Antonio.

Every morning since I’ve been home, my dear husband has gotten Rufus from my bed and taken him out and then fed him, thus allowing me to sleep late. After the genius leaves for work, the dog comes back to bed with me and usually settles down for an additional nap.

This morning, however, was a little different; he decided to go downstairs and bark his head off and it was still dark! I called to him and he came right up and settled down --- I think he thought everyone had left him.

Then at 7:30 he jumped up and ran down the steps, barking like crazy. I decided to wait it out and was cozying down under the covers again when Jesse jumped on the bed too! Laurie had dropped her off for her usual two days with us and I had forgotten all about it. Well, of course, there was no going back to sleep --- the bed quickly became a wrestling arena for them.

But my whole point is how nice it is not to have to go out into the heat or rain or cold first thing every morning --- that can be quite a rude awakening, especially for someone like me who takes a while to wake up.

I think I’ll keep the genius around for a while longer!!

THE PICTURES ABOVE ARE OF OUR LITTLE POOL WE DISCOVERED AND THE RIVER WALK

STARTING HOME

BJ and I are all checked out of the Wyndam La Cascada, but we are hanging around here until time to go to the airport. We would rather wait here than at the airport. Besides, waiting here gives us time on the internet.

We could only get online on the first floor so I was a little inconsistent about the blog. Also, I tried very hard to upload some pictures, but they just wouldn't take. I don't know whether it is the computer, the blog, or the connection. I'll try again today, but if there are none it's because I couldn't get it to work.

We've had a great time here, but I must admit I'm ready to get home to the genius and Rufus. The former has been very busy starting his school year, and especially because he has consented to be department chair again. It will definitely be a busy year for him.

But he has managed to get home and spend quality time with the little boy. He told me last night that he had decided to forego his usual workout at the Y and instead just rode his bike up and down our little street so Rufus could see him! Now THAT is a sacrifice!! You can see how this little dog is controlling our lives.

Ah well, at our age, what else do we have to do??

HAVING FUN IN SAN ANTONIO

BJ and I are having a very interesting and relaxing time in San Antonio. We spend a lot of time in our little round pool we discovered that no one else uses. It's nice and cold and we use it frequently since it has been 98-100 degrees here. It's rained only one day and we needed that to recover from all the sun time.

We also spend time eating meals overlooking the River Walk. This is a great time to people watch.

And then yesterday we finally got to see the Alamo. Very interesting even though the fact that it is in the middle of the downtown part of the city is a little disconcerting. I mean didn't John Wayne and Richard Widmark fight off Santa Ana and his gang in the middle of a desert? (I'm not even sure that's who was in the movie, but it was some actors like them.)

Tomorrow we are going to walk through the historic district on our way to eat at a recommended breakfast place. We'll see if it's as good as Brennan's or Camillia's Grill in New Orleans.

SAN ANTONIO WITH BJ

Well, believe it or not, here I am on my last vacation of the summer. BJ and I are using one of her time shares and staying in a very nice place on the San Antonio River right in the heart of down town.

It’s a very nice condo with two bedrooms, two baths, living/dining room and kitchen. There are multiple pools, an exercise room, etc. Of course, we are eating wonderful Mexican meals and doing some sight seeing. Tomorrow we plan to visit the Alamo; after teaching about it for years, I look forward to seeing it in person. Also, we had a relative, Jim (?) Travis from Jackson, Tennessee, who fought and died here.

BJ and I had an eventful trip that started by getting up at 3:00 a.m. to catch our 6:00 flight. But, we had a great flight. It’s been so long since I have flown anything but Southwest, I felt like I was in first class on Frontier Airlines. We had nice wide reserved seats with TVs in front of each seat. Unlike Southwest, though, we had to pay $3.00 for snacks, but we did get free drinks.

Since we’ve been here, we have really enjoyed the pools --- one is a round “mineral water pool” that is set off by itself and not much used by others. We just discovered it today and will probably frequent it from now on.

If I get a chance, I will post some pictures to share with you. So far, I have forgotten to take my camera when we go out, but I’ll try to do better.

VISITING WITH OLD FRIENDS

Speaking of friendships, I had lunch with my two first grade friends, Judy and Janice, yesterday. Besides my daughter-in-law’s mother, these two are my friends of longest standing. I always enjoy talking with them and getting caught up on their news. Judy brought pictures of her new house in Memphis and I had copied out some stories about the three of us from my blog. So we had a great time reminiscing over a long lunch.

Judy reminded me of another time where we almost got into trouble in the fifth grade. We were playing on the school grounds after school one day when we became thirsty. So, in search of water, we found an open window in our own portable classroom that faced the playground, and Judy, because she was tall, was able to get in through the window with the help of an older teenaged boy who was hanging about. For some reason, probably because I was too short, I stayed outside --- thirsty.

The next day Judy was called to the office and questioned about her escapade --- it just so happened that the school was missing some items out of that room the next morning. Since some of the other children had seen her climb in, naturally she was suspected. But it turned out that it was the older guy who helped her get in who apparently came back later and took some things from the room. She and I were both scared to death, she because she had actually been in the building, and I because of guilt by association.

What a time the three of us had when we were little. I’m sure that we have forgotten half of our adventures and that’s probably just as well!!

MAKING FRIENDS

I have been thinking about friendships and making friends. I have noticed that one way to strike up conversations with strangers is by having Rufus with me. I met several people in Florida last week when he was with me. But for some reason, I don’t have the knack to lead the conversation into deeper territory and make friends.

My sister MA has that ability. She will be on the beach and meet someone, start talking to them, and before you know it, she and her husband are being invited to dinner at the people’s house. She’s made many friends this way and kept the friendships too.

And my father was that way, too (that must be where she gets it). Daddy was raised in rural Mississippi and never knew a stranger. I can remember many times we would be sitting on my grandfather’s front porch and way down the road you could see a trail of dust coming. That immediately got everyone’s attention and we would start guessing who it could be. When the car or truck came into view, it was almost always recognized. Then the speculating would begin as to where the man was going and what he was doing (I can’t ever remember any females driving a car, so it was always a male). That night at church my father would approach the man and in a very friendly manner find out what his mission was that day. And no one was offended!!

Daddy had a way about him that just drew people to him, especially women. I’m not suggesting in any way that he ever wandered, but women liked being around him because he was friendly and made them laugh. My mother, who took it all in stride, used to say, “Those women at his church are just waiting for me to die so they can go after him.” And I’m pretty sure she was right! The problem is that Daddy went first, and the women had to find someone else. Over 500 people, many of them women, attended his funeral. And there were not many dry eyes in the house (or church).

Well, church is a great place to meet people and make friends. and I’m grateful that we have done that at ours. There’s just one problem though: at our age about the time we make some good friends, one of them gets sick or has to have knee surgery or some other misfortune occurs due to the aging process and we have to do without them for a while.

That’s another problem with growing old!!

INTELLIGENT CONVERSATION

Years ago the genius and I each took a do-it-yourself-at-home version of a compatibility test and discovered what we already suspected: at the top of the list for both of us was intellectual compatibility. In other words, the one area of our marriage we both valued above all others was our ability to hold intelligent, stimulating conversations with each other. We have spent many hours discussing politics, religion, parenting, the daily news, etc. Even when we talk about the mundane everyday events of our lives, both of us are always interested in what the other one has to say. We may not always agree, but we almost always find pleasure in our discussions.

That said, I am now beginning to wonder if all that is changing. Lately, it seems, that the subject foremost in our minds is the elimination habits of Rufus! When one of us takes the dog out for a walk, we feel obligated to report to the other what the results were. The accounts may go something like the following:

1) “He finally peed after walking all the way down to the end of the street.”
2) “He peed three times – must have been a lot of dogs out this morning.”
3) “He had a long pee! He must have had a ton of water to drink today!”

Of course, the best thing to hear is “He did both!”

Unlike Jesse, Rufus is not the kind of dog one can just take out into the yard and expect him to do his business and go back in. Oh no, he has to piddle around (no pun intended) a long time before he decides to go, even if it’s first thing in the morning. And honestly, with my imagination the way it is, in wanting him to get it over with, I find myself having to go and can hardly make it back into the house.

This morning was the cruncher, though. The genius left before I woke up to keep an early appointment but took Rufus outside so I could sleep in. After his meeting, he called to give me a report on Rufus and what he did, or more exactly what he didn’t do.

After I hung up, I began to think about this latest subject we seem to be fixated on and decided that perhaps we need to get back to religion or politics. It seems that we are stuck in an intellectual rut!!

THIS IS LOOKING DOWN FROM OUR TOP DECK INTO THE WATER AS IT SPLASHES AGAINST THE SEA WALL UNDER OUR CONDOS.

THIS VIEW FROM THE SIDE SHOWS THE STEPS BEGINNING TO PULL AWAY FROM THE WALL. BY THE TIME WE LEFT, THEY WERE DANGLING.

HOME AGAIN FOR A WHILE

My joy over the internet connection was short-lived as it soon went out and when I called about it, I was told that we didn’t have it at our condos at all; I had just lucked into a piggy-back on someone else’s. So I was not able to write anymore while we were at the Cape.

We are now home after driving all day yesterday. I’m happy to report that Rufus was great to travel with, as usual. He slept almost the whole way, only waking for the rest areas where he had a ball with all the new smells.

Speaking of the Cape, the operation for refurbishing the beach there is amazing. (As you can see from the pictures above, the beach in front our condos is about gone!) The genius and I drove down until we could see where they were adding the sand. The beach had about 100 yards of new sand where they had piped it in. It was quite an operation. I am hoping that they will get to our condos before November so I can go for the month like I did last year. But I will just have to wait and see.

We had a great time in spite of the fact that we felt we were on a boat. And we capped the week off by attending the annual Scallop Festival in Port Saint Joe on Saturday. I’ve never seen so much good looking food, but of course we stuck to the scallops, which were delicious. Rufus was a little intimidated by all the people and a few dogs, but people made over him as usual. “He’s just the cutest thing!” or “He’s so cute!” were remarks we heard a lot. But all he wanted to do was eat!

So now I’m resting up this week for my last venture of the season: BJ and I are flying to San Antonio next Sunday for a week there on the River Walk. My little red suitcase is getting quite a workout!!

HAPPY AT CAPE SAN BLAS

We have been here for a few days and I am happy to report two items of interest: 1) the condos where we are staying now have Wi-Fi, and 2) I didn’t forget anything on this trip!

We didn’t find out right away that we could get on the internet because we never have before and I didn’t see it advertised anywhere. But know that we know, I will be writing a little more.

We are having a blast, sunning on what beach is left here at the Cape, and eating fabulous seafood meals. The beach situation, particularly here at our condos has become critical with the erosion from the Gulf. They are trying to fix the situation even as I write by dredging sand from the bottom of the ocean floor and depositing it on the beaches, but I’m not sure they are going to be in time to save these particular condos. Since we have been here both sets of steps down to the sand have sunk and pulled away from the wall and are now unusable. The water at high tide comes halfway up the wall upon which the apartments are built. So far we haven’t fallen in, but we most certainly will unless something is done soon. We can see the beach repair going on from here but they are moving too slowly to suit me. I’ll definitely have to keep in touch with the rental people before leasing a place for November.

And the other big news is that Ashley, Mike, and two of their children (Bailey and Danny) have been through an earthquake. They were in California, house sitting for Mike’s father when the quake we have all been reading about hit. She called to reassure us that they were fine, but it was an interesting experience to say the least!

It’s about time to go bake a little while on the beach, so I’ll close. I’ll keep you posted as to our situation here.

CAPE SAN BLAS

Well, here I go again, packing for another trip. My friend Larry emailed me in the spring and entitled it “Don’t Fence You In”. And that’s about the truth for this summer.

We will leave Sunday for our new favorite spot on the Gulf Coast --- Cape San Blas, Florida. Brenda and her two children are going too as well as Rufus. We are leaving Jesse to stay at her home this time, since Laurie has been gone and will want the dog at home with her.

I hope that THIS time I can remember everything. I always seem to leave something at home. One time it was my entire make-up/bath stuff kit. Six of us girls went for a tennis weekend in Kentucky and I had to stop and buy a toothbrush and other essentials on the way.

Another time I went to Gatlinburg with another teacher for a conference and left all of my hang up clothes. I had to run over to the outlets at Pigeon Forge and buy some clothes for the meetings (oh, darn!).

For my week in North Carolina I had to make do with a $2.00 comb and brush because I forgot to pack my old faithful steel comb I have had since the sixties. (The genius likes this comb so much he began using it when we shared a bathroom in our old house. I would come into the bathroom to comb my hair and find it wet, so we had to have a heart-to-heart about it.) Anyway, for some reason I forgot to pack it for NC.

I don’t want to blame the genius for all these omissions because I am to blame also, but I will say that in the incidents of the make up/bathroom stuff and hang up clothes I had them downstairs in the kitchen ready to go and somehow they never made it to the car. (And guess who packed the car. Not me!) Now I have learned to search the kitchen to make sure everything goes.

So what happened when I left my phone and purse last week when traveling to the mountains? I guess I’ll just blame it on OLD AGE!!

RUFUS, A CAT?

I’ve decided that Rufus is part feline. Ever since he has been with us I have noticed certain characteristics that indicate somewhere in his past ancestry there has been a cat.

First of all, he is very agile and many times I have found him on the dining room table snooping around to see if there are any leftover crumbs lurking there. I have to be sure that all the chairs are pushed under the table to prevent this little maneuver.

Then where he rests is interesting. He prefers to perch on the backs of chairs or sofas so he can keep an eye on what’s going on. In North Carolina he went a step further by sitting or lying in the open window and watching the outside world. Of course, if anything moved outside he barked at it, even if it was a falling leaf.

His fur is soft and silky unlike any dog I have ever seen (but thank goodness he doesn’t shed like most cats do). And while he doesn’t really give himself a full bath with his tongue like a cat does, he does like to lick his feet and legs along with other places we won’t mention.

So I am fascinated by all these interesting features of his that make him seem catlike. If he starts rubbing up against my legs and purring I’ll know for sure there is kitty blood in him!

DELLA’S APRON

The way I sat around and let my daughters do most of the work while we were in NC reminds me of one of the stories my mother-in-law used to tell about her grandmother, Delaware Olivia Vandalia Ellis Bailey.

This interesting woman, called Della for short, was married to the son of a chaplain in the Confederate Army and was raised in Kentucky. Her husband was a country doctor who made the rounds by horse and buggy from a farm outside of Bowling Green. They had nine children, three boys and six girls, one of whom was grandmother to the genius.

Like many of the women of her era, Della always called her husband Dr. Bailey. (It’s amazing to me that they ever got close enough to have children with a formality like that.) Anyway, one story I heard my mother-in-law tell many times was that when Della reached the ancient age of forty, she told her family that she had cooked and cleaned for them for all of her married years and it was now time for them to take care of her. So she took off her apron and sat down.

Now I don’t know if she continued to do this or if the tale was exaggerated or not, but I do know that Della’s apron, a long white one with no bib, hung in my mother-in-law’s kitchen, and she would occasionally wear it when washing dishes or cooking. It hung down to about mid-calf and certainly was adequate in protecting her other clothes.

But the fact that the apron was in very good condition lends credence to the story that she quit keeping house after her fortieth birthday. Incidentally, she lived to be in her eighties.

HOME SWEET HOME

Home again, home again, jiggity jig (well maybe not the jig part; I’d be sure to break something!). But it is nice to be home safe and sound after a great week in North Carolina.

The last part of the week Brenda and the boys went tubing down the New River (which ironically is supposed to be the second oldest river in the world next to the Nile, according to the guide). They also went to get their gems cut and they came back looking very nice indeed (the gems, not the boys; they looked pretty grungy the whole time as they should on a vacation to the mountains.)

The last night we had dinner out to celebrate Brenda’s birthday a few days early. Then afterwards, we did what we do annually in the mountains --- shot off a few fireworks. They were really awesome this year; in fact, when we finished the last one, from somewhere way up the mountain we heard clapping and whistling. So I guess a few other people enjoyed it also.

Yesterday we had a pretty uneventful trip home. We decided to let the GPS have its way this time and there were no more wrong turns, etc. like on the way over. As a result, we cut thirty minutes off of the time.

We were all glad to get home, but I think Rufus was the happiest!!

VACATIONING TOGETHERNESS

When you vacation together and stay in one house or condo, you really learn lots of things about the people you’re with (sometimes more than you want to know and vise versa). This time I’m finding out things about my daughters that surprise me.

Brenda, for instance, has never liked exercising (who does?). But this trip, in spite of the fact that she hasn’t really felt good because she is fighting off some kind of virus, she has gone out every morning and run and walked these mountains. And this morning, probably because she has stuck with it, she feels better. So I have learned that she has a determination that I didn’t realize she had.

Ashley has also surprised me in a good way. She has always been the messiest one in the family and even though she is an excellent cook, in the past she has not been as good about cleaning the kitchen afterwards. It’s like she expended all her energies on the meal and it stopped there.

I take back everything I ever said about her messiness. She makes her bed every day, cooks the meals when we eat in, and is continually cleaning the kitchen. She’s also kept up with washing the clothes. This morning she was filling the dishwasher and wiping down the counter tops yet again. I said, “Ashley, are you cleaning the kitchen again?”

She answered that she was. And I said, “You’re making me feel guilty!”

Here was her reply: “Now we’re even!”

MORE NC VACATION

I remember saying once that I loved having a boy, but the Lord knew what He was doing when He gave me only one. And now here I am vacationing in the same house with three of them!!

They are truly having a ball. One of the things they like best is playing pool; we can hear them down in the rec room hitting the balls and laughing over something that is hilarious to them. Once we detected a different sound and Ashley yelled down the steps to stop using the cues as swords. But that has been the only glitch in that game.

Yesterday they went out and played miniature golf; of course, Danny won that (his father works for Ping). And today they went back to the mines to hunt for more rare jewels. They also had a great time driving go carts.

Again, the weather is wonderful --- mild and sunny --- but later on in the week it is supposed to get hotter. Then I think they are planning to tube or raft down a river on that day.

I have heard the word “DUDE” mentioned many times in their address to each other, and like the beer commercial, with many different inflections. So far they haven’t called me that but if they do, I will have to remind them that "I am a 'dudette,' Dude"!

NC VACATION, FIRST DAY

Now this is my idea of a vacation: kicking back on the deck looking out at the views pictured below at the end of a dead end lane high up in the mountains. The weather is great; all the windows are open and we are perfectly comfortable.

The three boys have had a wonderful time, first fishing in a lake they could walk down the road to (the one in the pictures is impossible to get to from where we are), and then going to a gem mine to get all kinds of jewels in the raw (the jewels, I mean). They spend much time at the pool table and in front of the TV playing games both of which are in the rec room on the lowest floor. Then they don their suits and go into the hot tub which is on the lower deck.

And what am I doing? Just sitting on the deck enjoying the peace and quiet or watching one of several movies I brought with me, . Kind of like at home, except I am surrounded by family members in a gorgeous setting!!

NORTH CAROLINA MOUNTAINS

We are now on our way to the North Carolina mountains to stay in a cabin near Boone. We’re packed to the gills in the genius’ SUV: Michael (13), Danny (13), and Jay (11) in the third row seats, Payton (14) and I are on the middle bench with Rufus and Jesse the two dogs, and Ashley, the driver, and Brenda the navigator in the front. Our luggage is in a very small space behind the third seat. As I said, to the gills.

We had a little “incident” at the beginning of the trip. We had gotten on I440 and had gone a few miles when Brenda’s phone rang and the genius informed us that “Mama forgot her phone.” So we said we would be back. It was then I realized that I had also forgotten my purse! So when we got back the genius was at the door to tell us that “Mama forgot her purse with her insurance card and AAA card in it.

Ashley leaned out the window and said, “You forgot about the most important card --- your credit card!”

LATER THAT DAY

We made it to our cabin after several wrong turns. Many hairpin curves later we arrived and saw our log house hanging off the side of the mountain and overlooking a lake. The view is spectacular and there is a two story porch from which to enjoy it. I brought the camera so maybe I can get a picture on for a later blog.

Meanwhile, we will begin to relax and enjoy!!

T² AND HIS NEW JOB

Most of you know that my oldest grandson Tommy (affectionally known as Tsquared) graduated at the top of his class at ASU in electrical engineering. Since that time he has been working on his Masters in EE at the same school while his wife, also an EE summa cum laude graduate, works for an engineering firm in Phoenix.

Without a doubt Tommy and his friend Mike (fiancé of Tommy’s sister Jordan) are the two best video game players I’ve ever seen. For years they have bought the latest systems and proceeded to master whatever levels they have. The latest purchase has been the Wii system and the games as they come on the market. They are very difficult to buy and in spite of the high price, people stand in line or get on waiting lists to get their copies as soon as they come to the stores.

Mike and Tommy have bought each one as soon as they came off of the line and the last time I was in Phoenix visiting I watched them play Guitar Hero until they had won each level.

But this summer Tommy hasn’t had as much time to play his games because he began an internship for a well known engineering company in the same town. He hasn’t shared a lot about his new job because the company has defense contracts with the U. S. government. But yesterday he called to tell his mom that he officially had the coolest job in the world.

His boss is going on vacation for two weeks and he wants Tommy to get a Wii system (he actually asked him if he was familiar with Wii) and bring it in to work. His project is to “Just play with it and figure out how it works.”

When Tommy had picked up his jaw, he clarified the rules with his boss. “So, you want me to bring a Wii system into work and get paid to play it.”

His boss said, “You got it!”

Oh how I wish someone would pay me to play my computer games!!!

FAMILY VISITING!!

Well, I was certainly right about the cooking and the bedlam in our house. Last night we had eleven (six adults and five children) here for dinner and a lot of hilarity.

I cooked a pot roast with gravy, mashed potatoes, fresh corn, tomatoes, and crowder peas (the last three bought at the veggie stand around the corner) and hot rolls. There was a little meat, a handful of potatoes, and some peas left over. Silence reigned around the table for a few minutes while we all stuffed ourselves.

Later, we sat around and reminisced and told all our latest news. The kids had fun with a new video game that has a set of drums with it. The sound of the game is so annoying that Ashley has about decided not to buy it for her family.

But here’s one example of the pandemonium that took place. The dogs had been romping around with the kids so much that they were worn out and resting on the floor. The grandchildren were in the den playing something and Ashley was telling a story about her own dogs at home in Phoenix (two big labs). She began imitating her big white dog when he is unhappy about something and the imitation was so good that the dogs jumped straight up and began running around barking, and the kids came flying into the room to see what in the world was going on. We were all laughing so hard we were crying. So chaos was the rule once again.

But the good news is that everyone had a good night sleep and we’re ready to tackle another day full of good times.

PEACE AND QUIET GONE

Today is a big day at our house. Bedlam will reign, kids will be running through, dogs will romp, much cooking will be taking place (a real change). Today Ashley is coming with only one of her brood from Phoenix. She is bringing Danny, 13 years old, and everyone will gather at our house for the next few days for play and meals, etc.

There are two other cousins who are approximately Danny's age, Jay and Michael, and they are all products of each of our children. These three cousins have always been close and get along extremely well together. For that reason Brenda, Ashley, the three boys, Payton (14), the two dogs and I will be traveling to Boone, NC in a few days to spend a week in the mountains.

So after the onslaught the genius will have a week to relax and get some work done without all the pandemonium of the days before.

Meanwhile, I will take my trusty laptop and keep the readers informed of our vacation time in the mountains.

Aren't computers wonderful!?!

SOFTER SIDE OF THE GENIUS

Sometime before I retired I began to wish for a little lap dog as a means of keeping me company when I was at home all the time. So I began my campaign to get one about two years before I was to hang up the whiteboard markers.

As was expected, the genius was adamantly opposed to the idea and came up with all the negative reasons he could to dissuade me. 1) Who would keep him when we traveled? 2) He would mess up the house. 3) He would be so much trouble for me and I would get tired of him. 4) I would have to take him outside in all kinds of weather. 5) It would be expensive. And a few more I have forgotten.

When he saw all his talking couldn’t do any good, he began to say things like, “OK, but the care of it is all yours!” “I’m not going to take it outside for walks.” “I’m not going to clean up after it.” “The expense is all yours!” And on and on.

So we went to “just see” about this Maltese in Springfield. “We’re not committed to it.” “We don’t have to get the first one we see.” Then I saw my little Rufus and my heart was lost. We had to wait two weeks for it, but the genius resigned himself to a new dog.

How long did it take him to love that little feller? A few hours, a few minutes? How about a few seconds? He was hooked as soon as we got in the car and Rufus threw up on me. His sympathies were all with the dog! Never mind about my white blouse.

He is so crazy about that dog that when he comes home after being gone all day, he greets Rufus first!! And of course, he has long since taken over the expense of grooming, vet care, and all other expenditures. He takes him for walks, feeds him, and even sleeps with him on occasion.

While we were in New Orleans, he mentioned the dog several times and wanted me to call and check on him. AND here is the real proof. As soon as we arrived home and unloaded the car, instead of going to do his workout and bike ride, he wanted to go get the dog. If the sisters and husbands hadn’t been in the car, I’m sure he would have gone by there first.

Anyway, he loves that little dog, independent cuss that Rufus is. And I look back at all those months of his objecting to the idea and just smile!!!

FINAL NEW ORLEANS TALE

While we were returning home we realized we were going to hit Tuscaloosa, AL about lunch time. So when the genius announced that to the carload, Jerry said there was supposed to be a good barbeque place there. Paul spoke up and said he had seen it featured on national TV on a special about BBQ places in the South. So I looked it up in the AAA tour guide and sure enough, there was a write up on Dreamland BBQ.

It wasn’t but a little way off the Interstate, and that worried the genius because he is tied to whatever highway he is on with an umbilical chord and doesn’t like to get too far away. He likes to be close enough to see it. But we talked him into it.

We followed the directions in the guide book and we seemed to be going to the boonies even though we were still only 1.3 miles off of I59. We passed it up the first time because it’s located behind a church, but a couple of us saw a big sign announcing the location. So we turned around and went to the parking lot.

The restaurant itself looked like a rundown shack from the outside, but since there were other cars there, we elected to enter. Besides, it smelled heavenly! Inside there were several long tables in the middle of a fairly small room and some smaller ones scattered around the sides. We seated ourselves at one of the long tables and this rather large African American man came over to take our drink orders.

We had time to look around the room. There were no windows and the walls were covered with mostly license plates and a few pictures of people, none of whom I recognized. There was a door over which said “Restrooms” but it looked like it led outside. We were afraid it was an out house, so we opted for the hand sanitizer instead.

Then without waiting for us to order, our server put some plates that were stacked up with white bread (just ordinary bread you buy at the store, but was very fresh) and cups of red sauce to go with them.

Then he came back and slapped three plates piled high with barbequed ribs. And that was it --- no fries, no slaw, no beans, nothing! Just ribs and bread and drink. I can tell you this, though; those ribs were yummy!! We ate until we were stuffed and then some.

So if you’re ever passing through Tuscaloosa at meal time, and want to try something different, but delicious, stop at Dreamland Barbeque!!

NEW ORLEANS, CONT’D

In some ways I understand the term “Big Easy” for New Orleans, but at times things seem kind of frantic to me. The noise of people yelling, car horns and loud radios blaring, and heavy trucks rumbling continues throughout the night. Thank heavens for my sleep machine to drown most of it out.

Last night we started out for Galatoire’s Restaurant 2½ short blocks from our hotel. It was sprinkling a little, but we decided we could make it by walking close to the buildings and keeping under the balconies. Well, you can guess what happened: the bottom fell out in typical New Orleans fashion and only one of us had an umbrella. So we took refuge under a balcony close to Arnoud’s, a famous and very old eating place.

In fact, BJ and I had been there fifty-three years ago. Our father had brought us with him on a business trip to New Orleans when I was sixteen and she was nineteen, and we had eaten a memorably delicious meal at Arnoud’s. Daddy used to talk about it for years. So when the rain didn’t let up, we made our way into the restaurant and eventually were seated and had a very fine meal. Galatoire’s could not have been any better.

NEXT MORNING

We had another wonderful meal at Brennan’s on Monday morning. Just before we left to come down here I discovered online that the famous breakfast restaurant had reopened on June 2, so of course, we made reservations for a brunch. It was just as good as I remembered. Then the genius and I left to do some math exploring.

We rode out to Chalmette, which is only six miles from our hotel, but in another parish (county). We had lived here in the spring of ’61 when he was an engineer overseeing the building of a reservoir. He wanted to photograph it and report on the math aspects of the construction. But alas, that was not to be; the parish had decided after Katrina hit to use the opportunity to build one twice as large. The old one was torn down in 2004 and the new one replaced it. A trailer park housing employees who work for the parish was established over the foundation of the old tank, so as the genius said, there is certainly no danger of their sinking because they are held up by 1365 piles with reinforced concrete.

We were disappointed, of course, but we also got to see some of the devastation of Katrina since Chalmette was hit hard by the storm.

And today we had an even more in depth view of the damage as we took a guided tour to several other locations. We saw the levees that were breached and also the lower ninth ward that took the worst hit in the area. It was very sobering to learn and to see first hand what the hurricane did to New Orleans; I have a much better idea of what they went through here and also can marvel at all of the reconstruction efforts that have been made in a little over 2½ years.

Tonight the genius and I will eat our last delicious meal in the Crescent City and then we will be on our way home early tomorrow. We have certainly had a great time.

I can hardly wait to get back to writing about the genius and his idiosyncrasies; I’ve learned a few more down here!!

THE FRENCH QUARTER AT LAST

We had a rather interesting experience trying to reach our hotel in New Orleans last night. We rolled into the city a little before 7:00 and just before we reached our exit, we made a wrong turn. That’s when the pandemonium began.

The genius was driving and the other five people all had maps trying to direct him how to get to where we were going. Finally, we reached Lee Circle which was familiar to us, but because of the one way streets, the genius and Paul, MA’s husband, decided to stop in at a little convenience store to get directions. Meanwhile, I was frantically searching on the map to see if I could figure it out.

At about the time I saw the light, the genius and Paul came slowly out the door and were standing there talking in a worried way. MA said they were looking up as if seeking divine help, or maybe hoping to see an angel drop out of the sky. Right away I knew that they didn’t get any satisfactory directions.

And sure enough, they didn’t. Paul had approached a man who had a coke and packages of crackers in his hand. It soon became obvious that the man was very inebriated because he kept dropping the crackers and he had difficulty talking. But it was too late; Paul had already asked him for directions. The man was so smashed that all he could tell them was “Oh, yes, there’s the hotel right over there” while pointing to Robert E. Lee’s statue. All this while he was trying to hold onto the crackers.

The genius and Paul began to feel uneasy and decided to exit the place even though there were others there who might have been able to help.

I could see they were distressed and yelled to tell them I had worked out the directions, one way streets and all. We reached the hotel a few minutes later.

We had a good laugh about it afterwards, but for a while there, things were tense.

Today we rode the street car out to the Garden District for breakfast then returned to the fairly new WWII museum. Going through all the exhibits was a remarkable experience and we all thoroughly enjoyed it. The genius has been reading a book about D-Day that he had gotten from his school library, so he was particularly interested. We ended up staying for over two hours.

So far, no math experiences, but the day is yet young!!! I’ll report more tomorrow.

ON THE WAY TO NEW ORLEANS

The genius and I are on our way to the Big Easy today to study the mathematics of some bridges, reservoirs, and the famous levees. And of course, we will find time to eat a few good meals.

When my sisters and their husbands heard we were going, they asked to tag along at their own expense, of course. So we are happy to have them with us.

On the way down we stopped in Batesville, Mississippi, to help our Aunt Fay celebrate her 107th birthday which is on July 1st. As I’ve said before, she is my father’s twin sister and is the second of his fourteen siblings to exceed 100 years. (The oldest sister, Aunt Bertha, lived to be 104.) One other remaining sibling, Tommie who is 94, was there, also.

Seventy relatives attended the fete as the two sisters held court at their table. Many pictures were snapped and a huge cake was unveiled. Aunt Fay had no trouble blowing out the three candles.

But most of us there agreed that for the first time Aunt Fay did not look as chipper as she had in the past. I really would be surprised if she makes it to 108.

Tommie, on the other hand, looked great! She was all dressed up in a pink dress with long pearls around her neck. She told me she was so “proud” that the genius had come down with me. It has been many years since he has been to Mississippi to see my relatives, and like Tommie, they all seemed pleased to see him.

We will be staying at a quaint hotel in the French Quarter so we should save on gas at least to eat our meals. Hopefully, we will not have to drive too far to see all the “math” sights.

Hilda, one of our cousins who has the family sense of humor, said she was afraid that we would get into trouble, knowing us, but if we get arrested, to call her and she would come bail us out!!

IDIOSYNCRASIES, CONT’D

Some of you may have thought I was pretty hard on the genius yesterday, but just to set the record straight, he actually helped me make a list of his unusual ways. And yesterday when I read him the blog, he laughed out loud in several places.

Today I want to talk about two of his compulsions. The first is his strong desire to be organized. Every morning after rising and getting dressed for the day, he gets his coffee and sits at his desk. Without fail he does two things: he makes calls to the bank to check out his accounts, and he makes out his to-do list for the day.

This list is extremely important to him and he sticks it inside his pocket calendar and carries it everywhere he goes. And I do mean everywhere!! Even when he goes into the post office to pick up the mail and I am in the car waiting, he puts it in his pocket. Maybe he thinks I will steal it while he is gone (as if I wanted it!). I have actually been tempted to hide it sometimes, but I’m afraid he will have a heart attack, so I resist the temptation.

Every day when he makes up the list, he carries some items over from the day(s) before which didn’t get accomplished. Many times I have asked him to do something for me around the house, and he informs me that it is on the list. It may remain on the list for days, weeks, or even months, but “It’s on the list!”

Because he is so goal oriented, he takes great pleasure in marking off each “done” item at night before he goes to bed.

And speaking of bed, of course he has his own pillow if it can be called that. The genius likes a very thin affair, and he has had three throughout our marriage. The first one that he brought to the marriage was one of the ugliest flowered throw pillows I’ve ever seen. But he put a pillow case on it and used it every night. Sadly, we left it in a motel once and he had to get used to another one.

That one lasted over twenty years when he again left it at some hotel. The one he has now is actually a worn out bed pillow that is so flat, I wouldn’t even feel it under my head. But he loves that little bit of shabby fluff covered by a pillow case and he’s happy with it.

And --- he will carry it on a trip that we are soon to be taking, so let’s hope he doesn’t leave it. Maybe an outlandishly colored pillow case will help!!

THE IDIOSYNCRASIES OF THE GENIUS:
AND THERE ARE PLENTY!

Picture this: a girl who has been raised to think (i.e. worry) about what other people think, and pair her up with a guy who doesn’t care in the least and who also has some very strange habits to boot, and what happens? Either she bails out of the relationship quickly, or she elects to grin and bear it --- over and over and over again. I chose to do the latter and here I am forty-eight years later still doing it. But it has become somewhat easier; I pray a lot and consequently, have become more tolerant.

Where do I even begin in describing the genius and his idiosyncrasies? Some of them I have already related, but it was just the tip of the iceberg. So here goes with an attempt to describe more and this may take several days’ worth of writing.

First of all, he is extremely goal-oriented, which he says began when he was in the Boy Scouts. I can just imagine him going after all those badges, even the ones he wasn’t good at. For instance, he tells about the time he was going for the fitness badge and he had to do a standing jump of a certain length. He kept trying and trying in front of his scout master, and finally the man told him to go home and keep at it until he got it; he would trust him to tell the truth. The genius tried all summer long every day until finally one day toward the end of the season, he did it! Of course, he went on to persevere on all the other badges as well, until he reached the Eagle level.

And that trait of reaching goals has remained with him. I have mentioned before how consistent he is about riding a bike every day, either outdoors on the street or on one indoors. For over seven years he hasn’t missed a day and quite frankly, this has not been easy for me. I would like to get an early start on trips we take, but no, the bike riding comes first. And that’s just one example where it has interfered with our schedules. But, over the years I have learned to become more understanding about his workouts.

I’ll tell about one other thing he does that is not like most people and that is the way he parks the car. First, he likes to back into every parking place he possibly can (I call his method “nerding” it in). This would be fine if he just backed it in quickly, but noooo, it takes him forever. Then before he turns the motor off, he has to switch everything --- AC, heater, seat warmers, radio --- into the off position. Many times I am out of the door while the car is still running, which I know is dangerous, but I get so tired of waiting for him to finish all his little duties!

As I said, this will take a few days, so stay tuned for more. BTW, it is his birthday, so I feel obligated to begin this series on him on his special day of all days.

MY FAVORITE CAR

Yesterday I was tooling along in my car and I couldn’t help but think, as I often do, how much I like driving it. It is by far my all time favorite car and I just hope that it lasts a long time. I also liked the way we acquired it.

I cannot stand to bargain with car dealers. Usually I let the genius do all of that, but I will end up getting a car that is lacking something I wanted on it just to end all of the bickering. This time it was different.

When it was obvious that my eleven year old Rodeo was giving out, I began to search online for a new car. The genius suggested that I decide just what I wanted in a car and then write all the Honda dealers in Nashville and surrounding areas and ask them to give me a price. So that’s exactly what I did.

I decided on an Accord LX with everything I wanted on it. It was to have four doors, leather heated seats, a great sound system, a voice-activated GPS and all the other extras that good cars have. I then emailed each dealer and requested their best price (no trade in) and told them I was taking the lowest offer. Interestingly enough, the prices ranged from $1000 up to $5000 difference. I took the best offer and emailed them and said I would take it. On a certain date we drove out to finalize the deal and I was the proud owner of a lovely new car.

It gets pretty good gas mileage so that is the car we usually pick to drive on long trips. It has twice been to New Mexico and back and we even drove it to and from San Francisco. On the latter trip every day about 1 or 2 o’clock in the afternoon we would begin to think about how far we would get that day and then look in the AAA tour guidebook for motels. We would call the motel for a reservation and then put the address in the GPS. Then we could relax for the rest of the day and just follow the directions of “The Voice.” And that voice lady never erred.

I highly recommend both the car and the method of buying it. As I said above, I have thoroughly enjoyed it and hope to spend many more years in it.

SHOPPING WITH BAILEY

Last week we had a nice three day visit with Bailey before putting her on the plane to Phoenix when it was still dark outside. Just kidding --- but it was very early in the morning on Sunday when she departed.

One of the days was spent shopping at the Green Hills Mall. We began our little journey around the mall by eating at the Cheesecake Factory. It was delicious, but soooo much food!! Three people could have shared my meal. There was no way I could have eaten even a bite of cheesecake for dessert. I told Bailey that the only way I could eat cheesecake at the factory is to order that and nothing else.

After lunch we started on our rounds. Let me say right now that Bailey is a super shopper!!! I used to be, but like most things physical in my life, that has gone by the wayside. We went from store to store comparing prices on makeup and other items and then went back to the original store and bought what we saw at first.

She wanted to go into Victoria Secret and since I was afraid someone I knew would see me go in, I went to the shop next door. But I finished my purchases and after making sure I didn’t see anyone I knew, I scooted in the door. All around me were little bits of lace and nylon that I assumed women wore, but I tried not to look at as I frantically looked for Bailey. I soon saw her in the sweat pants department and was very relieved to see they had such mundane things.

When she went back to try on several items of clothing, I went also to wait outside in the hall of the fitting rooms. Some nice salesgirl, who looked twelve years old and wore a size 0, took pity on me and brought me a stool from one of the rooms to sit on while I watched Bailey’s fashion show. She finally made her choices (I was encouraging her to try on as many as she could, so I could continue to sit) and we left to continue on our journey.

We wrapped it up after what seemed like five more hours, but was probably about 30 minutes, and I was fading fast. I was becoming very aware of the generation gap between us as she cheerfully walked beside me through the mall to the car.

Then the gap was emphasized even more when she pointed out a lady attired in leggings and a cute short skirt. She said, “Why do older women dress like that, trying to look young?” I looked and it was a lady from my bridge club.

I thought she looked cute, but I quickly came home and assessed the clothes in my closet to make sure they were age appropriate.

SEEING IS BELIEVING

Last night I realized that I am down to my last contact lens. I go to the eye doctor about every three years and return when I run out of all the lenses he gives me. I use the extended wear version and make them go as long as possible. But thinking about my eyes reminds me of how I began wearing glasses in the first place.

When I was in the fourth grade and BJ in the seventh we would find any excuse to get out of class. We both had teachers whom we didn’t like, so one time we decided to pretend to be sick at the same time so we could go to the “clinic,” which consisted of an army cot in the main hallway. Somehow we were able to pull it off; I told my teacher I had a headache, and I don’t know what excuse she used. But we both ended up on the cot at the same time.

I think we were able to pull this off twice if I remember correctly, and it proved to be so effective for me that I used it several more times without BJ.

Well, of course, this tactic to get out of class was not going to last forever, and the principal or teacher told my mother that perhaps I needed to have my eyes examined. I felt very guilty about Mother’s taking me to the ophthalmologist but I was stuck --- either I admitted I was lying or I had to go along with the scheme.

So off I went, (hopefully during school hours so I could miss more of her classes) to undergo all the eye tests. And you guessed it!! I did need corrective lenses; I was slightly nearsighted with astigmatism in both eyes. I’ll never forget the first time I put on my new glasses --- I could see the outlines of the leaves on the trees!! I was so surprised; I had had no idea that I couldn’t see perfectly.

But I hated wearing glasses. I only wore them to read or watch movies and later to drive. When I began to play tennis at aged 30, the glasses were really a pain with all the steaming up, etc., so that’s when I started on the contact lenses. Then I turned the magic age of 40 when everyone’s eyes suddenly shut down, and I went to one contact for distance and my other eye needs nothing. To read I wear reading glasses that I buy at the Dollar Store. My eyes have not changed in 28 years and I expect them to be the same when I go back next month.

I wonder how long I would have gone without being able to see if I had had a teacher I liked in the fourth grade!

BAILEY AND JORDIN

If you’ve been reading the blog from the beginning, or if you know our family well, you will remember that we have a granddaughter who is best friends with Jordin Sparks, the 2007 American Idol. Bailey and Jordin have been very close since kindergarten and Jordin’s fame has not changed that. For the past week Bailey has been “on tour” with her famous friend and having the time of her life.

But the good news for us is that last night the tour was in New York City in Madison Square Garden, and tonight it is in Nashville!! The tour bus left after the show last night and is now tooling it toward our city. Bailey will leave the tour this afternoon when she comes to spend a few days with us.

This part of her trip was unexpected – she had thought she was flying home to Phoenix from NYC. But when she heard that Nashville was the next stop, she changed her plans.

The genius and I are very glad for this opportunity to spend some quality time with our grandchild. Also, I am looking forward to hearing about Bailey’s experiences with the life of a star, our own little Jordin!!!

ANNIVERSERY

Forty-eight years ago the genius and I walked down the aisle to bind ourselves to each other for life. And what a life it has been!

I have recorded many of our experiences and won’t add to them today except to say that for the first five years we had fourteen different addresses. For the last forty-three we have had three. So things kind of slowed down, at least in the moving department.

Last night we celebrated with a dinner at Sperry’s; tonight we will continue to do so at the club.

When you’ve been married this long it takes two nights to celebrate!!

LOSING FRIENDS

I remember that my mother-in-law once said that living a long life meant having to suffer through the loss of many friends. We’re now getting to that age. This past weekend we attended a memorial service for a man whom the genius had known since college days and whose wife I have known since childhood.

The man had been the quarterback at Vanderbilt during the fifties and had also been the engineering lab partner of the genius. His wife, Dot, had attended church with me as a child and was a year ahead of me in high school. At one time after we had both married she and I had taught a Sunday school class of four year olds together. But when we joined our “new” church several years ago, she and her husband were one of the first couples to welcome us. Over the past few years we have become close again, going out to brunch after church and sitting together at the Wednesday night dinners. So it has been very sad losing a friend.

My sister MA and her husband live in a community with many other retirees and it seems like they lose someone all the time. When they first moved there about ten years ago and then BJ and her husband followed suit two years later, they tried to talk us into doing the same. But one of the first things I thought about besides leaving my children and grandchildren was getting to know people and then losing them to death or a debilitating illness. That may sound selfish, but I just didn’t want to put myself through that.

Besides, as I told her at the time, “This place has too many old people, too many Yankees, and too many UT (University of Tennessee) fans.”

Of course, I was kidding, so if you are old or live outside of the South (that’s the true definition of a Yankee), don’t take offense. I don’t care if I offend UT fans.

FATHER GENIUS

Since this is Father’s Day I thought it appropriate to offer some praise for the genius in that role. He has always felt a great responsibility in the area of parenthood and taken his part very seriously. The children I am sure thought at times that he was a little over-the-top, but the efforts he put forth were remarkable.

I can remember one incident that is funny, but does show how careful he was always to try and cover all the bases when called upon to be a good father. Jim IV was playing in a tennis tournament at Centennial Tennis Center, located in the midtown section of Nashville. He had forgotten to bring new tennis shoes and asked me to call his father and get him to bring him some when he came into town to watch the match.

So I called the genius on the phone at home. I told him that there was a big carton box of numerous pairs of shoes in the dining room that Jim IV was going to take to the pro shop to sell. I related to him what size to get out of the box and then mentioned that his match had already been called and he was warming up on the court.

“IN HIS SOCK FEET?!?" the genius blurted out. I assured him that Jim IV had on some old tennis shoes but wanted the new ones. He replied that he would be right down.

The match was held on a court farthest away from the entrance and the rest of the family were sitting beside it watching when we looked up and saw the genius way down the walk coming toward us. He was staggering under the load of the big carton box containing about a dozen pairs of shoes, each pair in their smaller boxes. He wanted to make sure that he had the right size so he just brought all of them. The rest of us could hardly watch the match we were laughing so hard.

And it was funny, but in reflecting back over the years, I realize that the genius did indeed do an excellent job of everything relating to parenting. He was careful, sometimes to an extreme, but always with the best of intentions as his motive.

I will always be grateful that he has been the father of our children. And may I say to you younger parents out there that parenting doesn’t change just because the children leave the nest. We still rejoice when there are victories and suffer when there are disappointments. Just as much, if not more so, as we ever did.

SLEEPING IN A BED OF ROSES

My mother used to say: “Marriage is not a bed of roses.” But I tend to disagree with her; marriage is just that; it’s just that we don’t anticipate all the thorns when we walk down that aisle. And speaking of beds reminds me of all the couples I know who have had trouble getting a good night’s rest while trying to sleep with their spouses.

The genius and I have had quite a time with that part of our marriage. Before we married he told me that he couldn’t sleep with another person in his bed, so at the beginning of our union we slept in separate beds; they were close together, but they were still separate.

After we had been together for about ten years, we bought a king sized bed and began the thorny path of trying to sleep in one bed. There were all kinds of obstacles, of course: children waking in the night, bathroom breaks, snoring, wiggling, cover battles, etc. But we stuck it out until we moved into this house thirteen years ago. Then began the sometimes nightly pilgrimage to the guest room. First, I would be the one to go, mainly because of his snoring, but it was so much trouble because I had to take my noise maker with me. Then I bought another noise maker for the guest room and could just turn it on if I had to depart.

About two years ago, the genius left the king sized bed and somehow just never returned. About that time we acquired Rufus, and because I had the big bed to myself, I allowed him to take the genius’ place. The dog, unlike my husband, likes to cuddle up and that doesn’t bother me.

Well, we have been discussing the matter and have decided to try sleeping together again. However, there are now three of us, and things are still a little rocky at this point. Rufus was so overcome with joy the first night we were all together that he awoke the genius in the middle of the night to give him a good face washing with his tongue. And then many mornings the genius gets up about 4:30 or 5:00 which wakes Rufus, who then wants to go out, etc.

I think we are about to get it right. If the genius gets up early, he takes Rufus out, feeds him, then leaves the bedroom door ajar so Rufus can come back in and not try to scratch the door apart. They both then let me sleep until a decent hour, (although one morning I awoke to find that Rufus had completely taken apart one of the pillows).

As I said at the beginning, this is not an unusual problem for couples, especially at our age. Many pairs I know either have separate beds or rooms. And one couple even sleeps on different floors!!

I am flexible and can do any or all of the above, but please just let me have my own bathroom --- there I draw the line!!

READER CHALLENGE

I’ve had a hard time finding time to write what with all the healing process and the dog grooming and grandchildren sitting. The healing is ongoing and the latter two events took place yesterday, so I was busy most of the day, The medical report of the day is that the genius is much improved and is now seeing quite well. Thank the Lord! We were both a little worried about the outcome.

So yesterday Annie and I spent a special time at the nails spa, getting the works. I should have taken a picture of that tiny girl perched on the edge of the big massage chair getting her toes painted blue with flowers on both big toes. It was a fun day for us both and a good bonding time.

Jay, on the other hand, spent time at school with the genius, hanging math plaques and going over old math tests. Jay is a math whiz kid and the two of them can spend hours working tests and going over them together. It’s a math match made in heaven!

Now for my challenge to you: A friend wrote me that the last time he visited his eye doctor, she was escorting him back to the waiting room and on the way she whacked a female assistant on the rear end with his chart. When the assistant turned around, the doctor said, “He did it!” and pointed to my friend. He was interested in knowing what a good come back would have been. I’m sure you will not let me down and will come up with an appropriate retort.
Maybe this one will generate as much interest as the movie blogs did.

THE GENIUS AND SURGERY

Yesterday was the big day for the cataract surgery and what a day it was!! So many things went wrong that what could have been somewhat of an ordeal turned into almost a catastrophe.

The day began with a workout for the genius (so what else is new?). Then after having nothing more than water to drink (“seven swallows” he told the nurse. The anesthesiologist who was listening in wanted to know how big the swallows were), he was ready to get prepared for the surgery. Right away he told the doctor he wanted no amnesiacs or sedatives. He wanted to be alert to everything that was going on. When he learned that he would be put under for five minutes while they injected his eye with numbing solution, he said, “I thought it would only be thirty seconds.” You can get an idea from the conversations he had with the medical people what kind of patient he is.

The operating room was scheduled for 12:30, but the one he was signed up for had three different surgeries that morning and all ran late. So he was 1½ hours late going up to the OR. I quickly grabbed a lunch and ran home to let Rufus out, and then it was back to the hospital.

The operation that was to take about forty-five minutes became a two hour nightmare with apparently many things going wrong throughout. The cataract itself was very difficult to break up and get out because it had hardened. Then the nurse couldn’t understand what instruments the ophthalmologist wanted (she usually operates at another hospital but was at this one at the genius’ request because of insurance). And to top it all off, the genius couldn’t see out of his new lens that was dropped into place just before the patch went on. You can imagine what kind of mood he was in when I was finally called back to recovery.

The good news is that this morning he can see much better, even though there is a slight “white haze” over everything. I am sure that will dissipate soon and he will be able to see much better than before.

An added footnote: we just returned from the ophthalmologist and she confirmed that everything was all right.

When the genius told her that he had measured the focal distance of each eye this morning (one was 14 inches, the other was 8), she remarked, “You’re the only patient I have who would check that before you came in.”

CHURCH SEARCH

Over the years of our married life, the genius and I have had quite a wild ride in an effort to find a spiritual home for us and our family. In order to explain I’ll start at the beginning.

We were both raised in the same denomination and as we grew older, we both began to have doubts about our faith. In effect, we were questioning the beliefs we had always been taught and trying to find answers for ourselves. Eventually, we both became agnostics even though we continued to attend church, especially after the children were born.

At age thirty-one I had a spiritual experience that convinced me that there is a God, One who cares for us and watches over us in every aspect of our lives. Someday I will share that experience on the blog, but it’s not time yet. For me it will be the most important blog I’ve written to this point.

A few years later, the genius gradually began to believe somewhat the same as I did and although our beliefs are not exactly alike (what two persons’ are?), the fundamentals are the same. So we began a search for a church home that would suit both us and the kids. Sounds easy, right? Wrong --- it took us thirty-three years.

What in the world were we looking for that took us so long? Well, at the top of the list was the sermon giver. This person had to be grounded in the Word, but intelligent enough to appeal to us in his sermons. Secondly, the music is very important to us also. We both like the old hymns, but I also like the contemporary Christian songs that have become so popular over the years. Neither one of us likes mournful music that makes us feel sad. And while the children were still with us, we wanted a strong youth program. Last on the list was a feeling of camaraderie with the other members or guests attending.

The first church we joined had all but the music. The choir director liked loud, somber pieces that made me feel like I had been to a funeral. I remember telling him once that I had really liked the anthem that day (it was a joyful number that had uplifted me). His answer was, “Oh well, I have to please the young people some of the time.”

So we didn’t like the music, but we stuck with that church for a few years until they had a huge split and half of the congregation left to start a new church. We attended both churches to see what they were like and we ended up not liking either one. The search was on again.

By this time, Ashley was in college and Jim IV soon to go, so we started attending an old church on the other side of town that was a lot like the denomination we were raised in, but they were stricter in their beliefs. We loved the service – the pastor was good and the music was really great. However, (there always seemed to be a “however”) we knew very few of the people. And since it was on the other side of town, it was a chore to drive there.

After attending for about five years but not ever joining, I had begun teaching at a Christian school that was connected to a church. It was actually the same church that had broken away after the split, but there were now many more people added to the mix. We ended up joining that church even though we were not crazy about the preaching. We remained there a few years and then when we moved from the house that we had raised the children in, we quit attending. Once again, it was too far to drive.

So on to the next one. This was a much more contemporary group that we visited and was anything but traditional. The people met in a school building and most of them were much younger than we were. We loved the preacher, but the genius was uncomfortable with the informal and charismatic worship. Plus, they hardly ever sang hymns.

Finally, we found what we were looking for. The genius attended a funeral at a church and came home raving about the service and the minister who performed it. I was very willing to try it and we did soon after the funeral. As soon as we walked in and looked at the people, we both felt like we were right at home. For the first time ever, all of the qualifications were met. The sermons, the music, the people, the traditions --- all were what we had been looking for. And it is five minutes from our house!!

So I can look back at all those years, and the journey we had just makes me appreciate all the more what we have found now. I am truly grateful!!!

SURPRISING REWARDS

I mentioned a few days ago about the free breakfast we received from the parent of one of the genius’ students. We were very grateful for his gift and appreciated his gesture of kindness. For parents to show their gratitude over the years has been a continual blessing for both of us.

Once at the end of the first semester several of us teachers decided to go to lunch at a nice restaurant nearby to celebrate. When we arrived, we noticed that other teachers from our school had had the same idea. There were several tables scattered throughout filled with men and women from our staff enjoying a last meal before departing for the Christmas break. I also noticed a table of mothers, one of which was the wife of a very famous country music star.

We had a great lunch, albeit a little expensive for that time of day, and when we got ready to leave we learned that our meals had already been paid for. That lovely lady had paid for the lunch of every teacher in the place! What a nice surprise and early Christmas present that was.

And just this spring another nice thing happened to the genius. He had bought a car a few years ago with a GPS system in it, and just after the warranty ran out, the system went down. He took it to the dealership where he had bought it and they informed him it would cost $4000 to replace it!! He said, “I didn’t pay but $2000 for it to start with!” But they remained firm about the price.

A few weeks later he was working out with an alum from his school where he teaches who owns another dealership of the same brand of cars he has. So while they were conversing, the genius mentioned the situation. That kind man told him to bring it out to his place, and long story short, they fixed it for free. I’m sure we will buy every car from that man from now on!!

These are just two examples of how parents and alums have been generous to us over the years. And believe me, we have been very grateful for their generosity.

Teaching certainly has its rewards that are not monetary, and they are many, but we certainly appreciate receiving the other kind, also.

THE SISTERS’ ANNUAL GET-TOGETHER

I just returned from my yearly visit to a state park to spend a night with my two sisters, MA and BJ. We had a great time, as usual, spending most of yesterday lounging at the pool and solving all the world’s problems. We love talking to each other, but visiting with them always emphasizes to me how different I am from them, especially in a domestic situation.

For one thing, they are both very thrifty and watch their pennies carefully. I, on the other hand, am just the opposite and I’m sure that I spend much more on groceries than they do even though the genius and I eat out a lot. On this outing I was again reminded how unlike we are in this respect.

Each one of us prepares a meal and brings it with us. This time I brought yesterday’s lunch, MA brought the dinner, and BJ the breakfast that we ate before departing for home. I had brought paper plates and disposable drinking cups so we wouldn’t have to wash as many dishes (I’m always looking for ways to make housekeeping easier). After we finished lunch and I was starting to clean off the table, MA said to leave her paper plate where it was; she didn’t get it dirty and she could use it for dinner. I am accustomed to this kind of behavior from her and said OK. (The genius has jokingly accused her of going through the trash cans after our annual picnic to look for plastic cups to take home and re-use.)

Last night I looked over at her as she finished up the dinner and did a double take. She was pouring dishwashing liquid into a zip lock bag, then water, and washing it so she could take it home and use it again. When I couldn’t resist making a comment, BJ informed me that she did the same. And one of them, I can’t remember which one, said she had brought something wrapped in aluminum foil that was recycled. And of course, all the disposable plastic cups were washed by hand so they could be used again.

The key word for me here is “disposable.” Why use plastic cups when you’re going to wash then afterwards? Why not just use glasses or fine crystal? The joy and beauty of using plastic things and aluminum foil is so I can throw them away after I use them.

Ah well, as I said before, if I didn’t look like these two, I would think my mother and father had picked me up off the street someplace. I guess we had an ancestor somewhere back in our lineage who was like me in this way, but so far I have found no evidence of that.

The good news is that in spite of our differences, we accept each other the way we are and have a great time together.

MEMORIAL DAY BREAKFAST

On Memorial Day the genius and I decided to go out for breakfast. We chose The Waffle House, a favorite of ours, especially now that there’s no smoking there, and it’s not too far from our house.

When we walked in, I noticed a nice man dressed in pants and a blue Waffle House shirt walking around, making sure that everything was all right. I supposed him to be the manager although I had never seen him there before. When he reached us, he asked us if all was well and we assured him it was. Then the genius surprised me by sticking out his hand and introducing himself and then said, “I taught your son this year.”

You can imagine my astonishment when he said this because all I could think was “How in the world does a Waffle House manager afford to send his son to that school ($18,000/year)?”

Then the genius asked him what he was doing working “in the trenches” on that day and turned to me to say, “He’s the CEO of Waffle House.” It turned out that he sometimes dons his W.H. uniform and goes around to different restaurants to oversee things, etc.

It was then that I noticed the servers, particularly ours: She was as nervous as a cat. When she brought me my sausage, she dropped one off of the plate onto the table. Also, when she told the genius that the OJ machine was being cleaned and he would have to wait a while for the juice, CEO jumps in and shows her where some more is. I felt really sorry for her and could understand why she was edgy.

The rest of the story is that after we had left a generous tip and were standing at the register to pay, CEO reaches over and grabs the ticket, saying the breakfast was on him.

As I’ve said before, “Teaching can have its rewards in more ways than one!!”

FRIDAY NIGHT AT THE CLUB

The genius and I enjoy Friday nights at the club probably more than any other night of the week. And last night was no exception. The lounge was almost full of people doing the same as we were, just hanging out and relaxing. Occasionally, people glance over at the news on TV, but mostly we just visit with each other and eat.

Last night I noticed two women whom I didn’t know sitting at one table. One was a forty-ish and attractive blond and the other a white-haired slightly stooped older lady. They conversed with each other over a glass of wine almost the whole time we were there. The older one finally got up to use the bathroom and I heard someone call her by name. I realized then who it was: Jim had grown up across the street from her and her family. She was a young bride when they moved in and she and her husband raised several children in that house.

So the genius and I decided to stop by their table and speak to her when we got ready to leave.

Here’s the kicker. She is in her late 70’s and still a principal at a local public elementary school. I was astonished! Here I am at 68, retired, and having absolutely no desire to be otherwise, and here is this former “Lady of the Bracelet” at Vanderbilt (a very high honor), living in Belle Meade most of her life, and she is still thriving as a principal!! My hat (if I had one) is off to her. I’ll bet she goes until she is in her eighties.

She and the genius are cut from the same mold!!!

SUMMER SCHEDULE

I can tell already that this summer is going to be different in several ways from my usual peaceful, sometimes boring, life of the other three seasons. My time is not “my own” now; I have to share it with the genius who has a different schedule – an unpredictable one! And I can see that writing the blog may be a little difficult, also; we will just have to see.

Besides having the genius at home at various times during the day, Rufus has decided that 5:30 or 6:00 is a good time to wake up each morning. I think I can solve this problem by doing what I did yesterday: stagger outside with him in tow while he does his business, feed him his breakfast, and grope my way back to bed, leaving the door ajar so that he can come back in if he desires. That way I can get an hour or two more shut-eye.

Today I was up at 6:15 with the idea of doing the same, but remembered that the “bugman cometh” this morning and I knew it was no use to even contemplate more sleep. So I arose and had coffee with the genius before he went in for his “final” workday. I put that in quotes because I know he will go in all summer for some reason or another. (When he retires for good, we will have to rent an office somewhere so he will feel like he’s still going to work --- and I will have some time to myself!)

Those who know me well know that I require a lot of time alone. Payton, our fourteen year old grandchild, is the same, spending hours by herself in her room. It’s not that I don’t enjoy other people around – I do – very much! But I also like my alone time where I can read or spend time on the computer. That’s one reason why I usually take a nap when I’m on vacation (I can see my family saying, “Uh-huh!” on that statement because I also like to nap at home.)

All of this to say that during the summers it’s not the same. The next few months are chock full of different events: cataract surgery for the genius, a trip to Toronto for him, then both of us to New Orleans with the sisters, Ashley’s visit, vacation to NC mountains with some of the family, then to Cape San Blas, FL for the genius and me and other family members if they desire, and I will finish out the summer going to San Antonio with BJ for a week. All that and I didn’t even include the overnight stay that the sisters and I will do alone next week at a Tennessee state park about an hour away, something we do every year. You would never know that gas prices are high as far as our family is concerned, the way we tool around all over the country. I guess we’ll just cut corners somewhere else.

Vive les summer!!!

SUMMERTIME!!

Well, as you’ve been able to see, I’m back home after getting Bailey officially “grajitated” and now the summer begins. The season doesn’t officially start, of course, until June 21, but the weather doesn’t know that. It has suddenly turned hot and sticky over the Memorial Day weekend.

In Arizona they had the strangest weather I’ve ever seen. The day before I arrived it was 110° and by the time I got there, the temperature had dropped 30° with winds at 25 mph. When I left four days later it was still cloudy/rainy and cooler than it was in Nashville. I was very grateful for the low temps, but was disappointed that there was very little sunshine the whole time I was there. Of course, the locals loved it and talked about how coooold it was and how nice the rain was. Since I had had this type of weather all spring, I was ready for a little sunshine. I’m not complaining, however; it was very comfortable.

The spring here has been very wet, and as a result, everything is green and lush. All around our house is solid green; we can no longer see any houses down the street, it’s so grown up next to our driveway. It feels like we are in the middle of the country. Very nice and private.

And today is the first day we get to keep Jay and Annie while Laurie works. We always keep them one day a week during the summer, and it’s a great way to stay in touch with them. Jay is eleven and Annie almost eight. They are the youngest of all the grandchildren and a pleasure to have around.

I do have to wait in line for the laptop, however. They both like the games I have on it, and even though I have plenty on the desk top upstairs, that’s not the same. So I finally had to kick them off so I could write my blog this morning. At the moment, they are not too happy with me.

Next Monday I will be spending a day and night at a state park about an hour’s drive north. The sisters and I have met there for several years to spend some time together just hanging out and catching up on our news. At the end of June we with our husbands are spending several days in the French Quarter in New Orleans. As I’ve written before, this is a favorite spot for us and we want to do it one more time at least.

Let’s hope we can behave ourselves this time!!