WHAT IS THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT?

When I became a Christian about thirty-eight years ago, a strange feeling came upon mne. I began to dislike Christmas and all the busy-ness that went with it. I wanted to concentrate on the spiritual side of the holidays and somehow couldn't because of all the activities that went with them.

I had so much more to do then than I do now: shopping for tons of people, baking all types of goodies to give as gifts, sending out Christmas cards, picking out and decorating the tree, decorating the rest of the house, wrapping presents, going to tons of parties and on and on. No matter how hard I tried to get that mysterious undefinable feeling that is called the Christmas spirit back, I just couldn't and haven't for a long time.

Over the years I just learned to accept it and somehow get through all the tasks, occasionally experiencing little glimpses of the magic I used to associate with Chrstmas. I still collected my manger scenes and enjoyed setting them out each year.

This year is different, however, and I don't know why. Maybe it was the rest in Florida for a month, maybe it's because my life is not as hectic. Whatever it is, I'm enjoying it thoroughly. I brought out my manger scenes and the little artificial fiber optic Christmas trees and stuck them in the front windows, both upstairs and down. I adorned the front porch and three holly bushes in front of the house with lots and lots of tiny colored lights. And I turned on the white lights that stay year round on the ficus tree in the dining room.

I wouldn't say that I've gone all out in decorating, but it's just enough to suit me. Tomorrow (the 23rd) is going to be my day for cooking. I'm cooking a turkey, then cutting it off of the bone and putting it in chicken stock to store in the refrig. Then all I have to do is heat it up and make the gravy. I'll make all the other stuff, dressing, squash casserole, bread and have it all ready to heat'n'serve Christmas Eve night, when the Nashville family all gathers at our house. (Because of my recent battle with oysters, I'm ommiting the scalloped oysters this year.) Brenda and Laurie will bring two other dishes each.

So once again we will be well fed and excited to open presents after dinner. And I won't be so tired from spending all day in the kitchen; I can really enjoy the gift openings.

To all my readers out there, I hope you all have a very merry Christmas, and will truly enjoy it. Maybe we will even turn off all the lights except for the Christmas ones and play inspiring music.

Actually, that will probably have to occur on Christmas night when everyone is gone. I can't see the grandchildren getting into that scene!

BAD COLDS

When I came home from Florida the latter part of November, the genius had been in the middle of a bad cold. I was very compassionate and tried to be patient when he moaned and groaned. Then just about the time he was getting over that, he came down with a fresh cold and cough. (Of course that's what happens when you burn the candle at both ends.)

Still, I tried to commiserate with him and to be as sympathetic as I could. I pampered him with delicious hot meals. In fact, I believe I could have gotten a good angel award for my admirable behavior.

Thursday afternoon I began to feel somewhat under the weather myself -- my throat began to itch, my chest felt tight, and the sneezes started. I was not a happy camper, to say the least.

After a sleepless night of coughing, I was not feeling too hot Friday morning, but I was trying to be my happy cheerful self. As we were driving out in the car that morning, a little moan escaped from my lips, and he snarled, "Oh boy, I can see that this is going to be a great weekend."

I said, Wait a minute!! Hold on!!! I'm not allowed to say I feel bad when I have a cold??? I have listened to you for weeks about how bad you felt and how hard it was to keep going, etc., etc., etc. I've tried my best to be a good wife to you while you were trudging through the mess, and you have the gall to growl at me because I groaned a little???

Actually, I didn't say all that, just a short version of it. But I got my point across. Ever since then he has been very sweet and helpful. But I sincerely hope that we will get back to good health soon.

It's definitely not fun to be sick anytime, but especially at Christmas!!!!

ALL TIME FAVORITE BOOKS

Every now and then I come across a passage out of a book I'm reading and I'm captivated with the message, the way it is written, and how it hits me where I live. The following quote from The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield is an example of what I'm talking about.

There is something about words. In expert hands, maniputated deftly, they take you prisoner. Wind themselves around your limbs like spider silk, and you are so enthralled you cannot move, they pierce your skin, enter your blood, numb your thoughts. Inside you they work their magic.

This one paragraph describes how I feel so many times when I'm reading the Scriptures, for instance. The words indeed "work their magic" in me as I ponder what I've just read. And what better hands could the words be manipulated by than the Spirit of God? No wonder the Bible is still the #1 bestseller!

But I also feel this way when I read an excellent novel. I get so caught up in reading it that I think about it while I go about my business during the day and when I'm falling asleep at night. Sometimes I even dream about certain aspects of the book.

If I'm really taken with the author, I will try to get all the books he/she has written and read them all. And these I don't rush through so I can savor the experience for as long as possible. I'm doing that very thing now with James Herriot, the Yorkshire vet who wrote hilariously about his adventures treating animals. I recently ordered five of his books and started at the beginning (All Creatures Great and Small). I'm taking my time going through it so I can admire and appreciate his "way with words." He was a genius at using just enough exaggeration of an incident to make it really funny.

I think it would be interesting to hear from readers about what books have given you the most enjoyment over the years. Like we did with movies. And it doesn't have to be just fiction.

I'll go first: my favorite all time book is Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand, which I read the first time in 1960 when I was 21.

Let's see how you do with this assignment!!

LEARNING TO BE A HOUSEWIFE

When I was in Florida during the month of November, I had plenty of opportunities to work in the kitchen. Sometimes it was cleaning up after one of the sisters had cooked, sometimes I did the cooking myself. But the most interesting times for me were when all three of us sisters were cooking at the same time.

We all have different styles and ideas about cooking and we are all pretty strong minded women. So, while we all tolerated each other extremely well, it was obvious at least to me that this was just another area in which we are different.

BJ and MA are more alike in their "kitchen views" but they cook most of their meals at home whereas the genius and I are likely to eat out several times a week. Both sisters are excellent cooks, but at the same time, they are very smart shoppers, buying sale items, etc. Also, they don't waste a thing, saving leftovers, recycling ziplock backs, and washing and reusing disposable cups. Everything they do in the kitchen is designed to be tasty and healthy and doing so with the least expenditure.

And then I step into the picture. My cooking philosophy is to make the food taste as delicious as I can and I do it lavishly. My grocery basket is always filled with real butter, real cream, meats straight from the butcher, extra thick paper towels, and nothing low fat. (The other day we ran out of butter at home and the genius asked me if I had any other "spreads" in the refrigerator. I said, "Absolutely not!") So my grocery bill is always higher than theirs.

After 48 years of cooking for the genius, I have also learned to make plenty of whatever I'm making. That's another way I am different from my sisters. BJ and MA tend to cut back on the servings for their husbands because they don't "need" it, while my feeling is to give them as much as they want. Chun laughingly says that MA is "always telling me what I need!" If I don't give the genius as much as he wants he just goes to the pantry and eats something else in addition to the meal.

Well, I am happy to report that I learned something from them while watching them cook in Florida. For one thing, I save the leftovers and have them for lunch the next day. Also, I have begun to buy my groceries from Walmart and am saving a bundle. And I'm cooking more and eating out less. And best of all, I finally learned from BJ how to whip up good cornbread. I've probably cooked it 4 or 5 times since I've been back. The genius loves all these changes!

I may yet become a good house frau!!

CHANGES, CHANGES

Whew!!! I finally get a day to myself at home. It's been a busy weekend and yesterday was a day of going to the doctor and later picking up grandchildren. So today is definitely braless and at home (sorry, Tsquared, for the mental image).

Today is also math exam day for the genius, so I definitely won't see much of him. He will be grading, calculating grades, and writing comments to each set of parents for the rest of the week. THEN, we can relax and enjoy the holidays while he has a little spare time. We get somewhat of a preview of what it will be like when he retires (if he ever does!).

Life is full of adjustments. First, I had a very busy career as a mother for twenty some odd years, then I had to adjust to a life of balancing school and tennis, then on to 18 years of teaching. Adjusting to retirement when my life suddenly became slower and more peaceful was not difficult. What I wonder is if I can as easily get used to having the genius around full time. I've become somewhat accustomed to keeping my own schedule so I'm sure there will be some compromises for both of us. But my adjustment will be nothing compared to his. To stop working after so many years of putting in 16-18 hour days will be quite a change for him!

And speaking of changes, my body has had some interesting temperature shifts over the years. First, as a child and most of my adult life, I was freezing all the time except in the heat of summer. Then I began to be hotter natured than almost everyone around me, which I attributed to women problems and the gaining of weight. Then in September, when I stopped drinking, an amazing phenomenom occurred. I am now back to being cold again. I've had to raise the temp in the house and also put on layers of clothes to keep warm this winter. It's amazing that alcohol and the lack of it could make such a difference.

I would go back to Florida this winter, but instead I have opted for a month in Phoenix where I can be with my family.

Besides, IT'S FREE!

NOw I KNOW HOW TO RELAX!!

Now that I've retired my days are divided into two different types: bra and bra-less. I know, I know, that's more than you wanted to know about a grandmother of eight, but I'm spilling the beans anyway (no pun intended).

It's great to kick back when I'm at home and not to be "bound up" all day; I just never realized how much freedom I would feel in this little state of "undress," but I recommend it highly. It makes me appreciate all the burning of bras in the sixties. At last I can fully understand what that was about.

Anyway, I don't subject myself to the public (or vise-versa) without a bra on. If I'm going anywhere, even running to the store, I am fully "trussed up." But it sure is nice on the days I stay home all day.

You may wonder what the reaction of the genius is to this, but I can tell you he is the master of not noticing what I look like. In fact, he is almost completely unobservant when it comes to seeing what women are wearing. A girl I played tennis with once told me a story that proves my point.

She was working for IBM and it just happened that the genius was her manager. He assigned her to a very active account, and she was having to work long hours. She was so upset with him that she decided to try to make a point and wore the same dress three days in a row, hoping he would think she hadn't even had time to change clothes. Alas, it fell flat; he never picked up on it.

When she told me about the incident years later, I had a hearty laugh because I knew the plan would never have worked on the genius.

My writing was just interrupted by a call from the man himself and when he heard what the subject was, he said, "Omigosh! Now remember, this goes out to the world, I don't want hordes of people coming to our door!"

Isn't that fabulous?!? He believes that I could draw in a multitude just by saying I don't wear a bra at home.

Love truly is blind. BLESS HIM!!

A NEW JOURNEY ON A WAGON

Sometime in September I decided to quit drinking. People naturally ask why, and it's difficult to answer that question. What I tell them is that wine was becoming too important in my life -- i.e. it was controlling me instead of the other way around. But what has been very interesting to me is others' reaction to this news.

Most people have been very supportive. My family, in particular, has been wonderful and encouraging in this endeavor. I tell them to continue drinking in my presence --it really doesn't bother me, and most do. I still have a great time at parties, and lo and behold, the next day I remember what happened at them.

On the other hand, there have been those who are uncomfortable with my decision and have avoided me like the Plague. One couple whom we used to see almost every weekend has quit calling us. The last three times we were with them the husband said several times, "You're just no fun anymore." So it looks like we have actually lost friends over this.

The other night we dropped by the club for a sandwich in the lounge and ran into another couple we hadn't seen in a while. The wife for some reason always announces to whomever she is with that she is only having one glass of wine because she is driving. She refers to it several time during the conversation throughout the evening. I was used to that, but this time when I announced that I had quit, both of them were very interested. The husband, who drinks quite a bit himself, was very supportive, but the wife couldn't let it go.

She continued to ask me about my decision, plying me with questions. Finally, she said, "You just have to make up your mind ahead of time and have only one glass!"

I felt like saying, "Been there, done that, my dear; it just doesn't work!" But instead, I said, "I would really like to do that, but once I have one, I relax and my resistance goes south and before I know it, I've had three!"

With that, she tapped her head and replied, "It's all up here."

How do you answer that?!!

I graciously decided to let it drop and enjoy my meal!!

LOUNGING AT HOME

Ahhh, a day at home. Well, at least most of it. This afternoon I pick up Jay after basketball practice, then get Annie, take them to their house and wait for Jim IV to arrive (with dinner, I hope). But the rest of the day I will lounge at home and enjoy myself.

Yesterday I had bridge club at a gorgeous home about ten miles away from my house. In fact, it was on the same road that my parents built a house about 40 years ago. They had several enjoyable years there until Daddy had what they thought was a stroke (it was actually the onset of a brain tumor). Then they moved back into town so they could be closer to doctors, etc.

But this house I went to yesterday was built on the top of a hill overlooking a valley. Most of the valley has built up now, but there are still enough farms left to make you feel you are in a rural area.

There was a deck all across the back of the house and the great room where we played had a wall of windows overlooking the valley. I could hardly play bridge for looking at the view; maybe that's why my partner and I finished near the bottom. Oh well, my winning streak was bound to end at some point.

We had a delicious lunch of creamed chicken over cornbread, cranberry congealed salad, and peppermint ice cream over a brownie for dessert. I really wanted to nap afterwards.

The weather has turned warmer; maybe I will get some outside decorating done today. I do like it when the house looks festive for Christmas.

WONDERFUL THREE DAYS

Sometimes weekends turn out to be so-so and other times they are fabulous! The latter was the case for us this past weekend -- it was GREAT!!

It began on Friday night with my cousin David and his wife Betty who surprised us with a visit from Memphis. He was one of my "town" Mississippi cousins who grew up in Oxford, so of course we saw him every summer. We even stayed with them some when we were not "roughing it" out in the country with our other relatives. We loved to walk the 2-3 blocks to the square and have sundaes at his father's drugstore. (The store is there still, but it's a bookstore now.)

He did his undergrad work here at Vanderbilt and we grew closer during that time, going out a few times for a beer, if I remember correctly. He calls me occasionally when he comes to town on "lawyer" business. When he called this time, I quickly gathered up the sisters and husbands and we all convened at Sperry's, our favorite restaurant in Nashville. We really had a great time, laughing until we cried. David is sooo funny -- has that Lauderdale quick wit.

Then what can I say about Saturday? The genius and I were ecstatic over the Gator-Bama game. Now it's on to the National Championship bowl vs. Oklahoma.

Last night we attended a wonderful Christmas faculty party at the genius's school. It's always good to see everyone and have excellent food. We were somewhat anxious about the BCS selection and I finally called my cousin Jane who was monitoring the situation at home, and got the word that the Gators were definitely in the finals. She of course was interested in Ole Miss and where they were playing, but she gave me the news about Florida and we could relax and enjoy the party.

So a good time was had by us all weekend. I love seeing people I haven't seen in a while and partying with them.

Christmastime is great!!! If it just weren't sooooo COLD!!

NEW FRIEND (COUSIN?)

I finally got out to Hendersonville to visit BJ and Jerry and their new dog Monty. He is half Pomeranian and half Shih Tzu. What a little ball of fur he is. And so aggressive.

He chased Rufus around and around while Jesse sat on the sofa and watched. She was definitely above all the male antics!! Every time Monty would put his paws on the sofa where she was, she would growl at him. She, who is usually so mild. But Rufus and he had a blast. I'm sure he must be sleeping and resting now (Rufus is!) because all they did while I was there was run around and play.

Below are two pictures of them.

SELF-DIAGNOSING MY ILLNESS

Several people have questioned me about my illness in Florida. If it were a virus, why didn't anyone else get it? If it were food poisoning, why did it last so long? If it were salmonella-caused, it would have lasted longer, according to three medical people in my family. So I set out to do some research.

These are the facts in the case: 1) I ate raw oysters on Tuesday and Wednesday nights at two different restaurants. 2) On Saturday morning I woke up to diarrhea and fever. 3) The illness lasted five days.

According to my calculations, 86 hours passed between eating the first batch of oysters and the onset of symptoms. The second batch was eaten 62 hours before Saturday morning. The second restaurant was definitely not very clean; Brenda and I noticed some unsanitary practices when we ate there another night.

Now on to the research. I looked up salmonellosis (the virus caused by the salmonella germ) and it is caused from eating raw foods, such as eggs or oysters. The incubation period is anywhere from 12 - 72 hours. And it lasts from 4-7 days.

I'm convinced if anyone else isn't.

No more raw oysters (sob!!) for me!!

ANOTHER GENIUS TALE

While I was in Florida, the genius had lunch with his sister and her husband. She reminded him about an experience he had with his first BB gun when he was a child. I knew that he had always been a stickler for doing the right thing, and this story proves it.

He was about eight years old when he got his first BB gun, an event that occurred to many boys his age growing up in the South in the forties and fifties. His father told him he could shoot at starlings and sparrows, but killing any other kind of bird was illegal. So he set out to bag his first bird.

The problem was that sparrows were too small to hit and the feathers on a starling deflected any BB so effectively that it was almost impossible to bring one down. The only way to do it was to hit it right between the eyes.

One day he was trying yet again, and he got so discouraged he just turned his gun on a bright red cardinal and shot. You guessed it -- he hit it right between the eyes and he fell over instantly dead.

Before that bird even hit the ground the genius was crying hysterically. He knew he had done a terrible thing. When his father came home that night, of course he confessed his sin right away.

The genius suspects that his father was getting ready to tell him that he had done wrong, but had learned a good lesson when his son broke in with, "Daddy, I broke the law, and we have to report it!"

So the wise father took his son by the hand down the street to a neighbor who just happened to be a game warden. The man told him he would let him off this time, but not to do it again.

Then they went back home and buried the cardinal.

This little story shows the side of the genius's personality that is still very prevelant today: wrong behavior has consequences.

Just ask any student he has ever had!!

RAMBLING THOUGHTS ON A GRAY DAY

Well, back to the same old, same old. No more walks on the beach, sunning on the deck, eating fresh seafood (not fresh enough, apparently), and watching gorgeous sunsets over the Gulf. In fact, no sun at all. The last two days we've been socked in by heavy clouds, rain, and cold. How soon can I pack to go back??

I did sneak a peek at the 10 day forecast at the Cape and it's mostly sunny days in the 60's. I wish I could have brought a little of that back with me.

But let's face it; it's just not Christmas-y in that kind of weather. So I'll be content to stay here and get ready for the holidays and enjoy the Christmas lights and colors that show up so much better on dark days than on sunny ones.

Jesse is back with us today. Boy, has Rufus missed her and apparently, vice versa. My daughter-in-law tells me that she has been depressed since Rufus left. You would never know it now. Even though I never said a word to Rufus, he got up on his perch this morning, looking and watching, as if he knew that she would be here soon. Of course, he's in for a very rude awakening because he has to go to the groomers today and Jesse is not going. Oh well, it's just for a few hours and then they can play to their hearts' content.

Ah, a dog's life. My niece tells me she wants to come back in the next life as my dog. Come to think of it, I don't lead a life very different from his -- eat, sleep, play, bathe, have friends over, etc.

As I've said before, RETIREMENT IS GREAT!!!