CHANGING PARTNERS

When the genius and I first married, I had heard some horror stories from his mother about how particular he was about the cleanliness of his clothes. For instance, she said that ever since he was a boy he would remove his shirt outside and play in his t-shirt to keep from messing up the outer shirt. BUT he didn’t want to wear the outer one again later because “it was dirty.” I knew I had my work cut out for me.

Oh, I’m not talking about working myself to death washing clothes. No, like all smart wives of the fifties (and all other decades since Adam and Eve) I was out to change him and make him see the light of so much waste. Why do we always think we can do that? We see or hear of their faults before marriage and just think, “Ah hah! They will be different after we marry and they listen to reason.”

The first test in this area came the day we were moving into our first apartment. It was a hot day in the last part of June and our tiny apartment was on the second floor of a house above two spinster piano teachers. The genius, who was very hot natured, decided he had to stop and cool off with a bath (there was no shower, only an old fashioned claw foot tub). So he jumped in and cooled off and used one of our brand new towels we had gotten for a wedding present. The thing is he did that four more times that day and each time used a clean towel. When I realized he had used up five towels, I said to him, “We only have eight! At this rate we’ll be washing clothes everyday!!”

Well. I didn’t have to try and change him after all (at least not in this area). Reality set in when we had to drag all the wash to the laundromat and lug it back up the steps afterwards. I couldn’t do it during the day because we only had one car and he had to use it for work. So he quickly learned by experience to conserve both his clothes and the towels.

That incident taught me a lesson that I have had to learn over and over again throughout our forty-eight years together. DON’T TRY TO CHANGE HIM; just be patient and eventually, he’ll see the light. Especially since I’m always right!!!

DECORATING THE HOMEPLACE

I don’t watch a lot of TV, but when I do, I enjoy the Home and Garden network. I get a kick out seeing old drab rooms become new and sparkling and sometimes I get ideas for my own use. But the other day I tuned in to a show that afterwards really got me to thinking.

It was one of those situations where a couple was trying to sell their house and the stars of the show were coming in to do a remake for $2000 or some miraculous amount. One of the first things said about the kitchen was, “Oh, that’s sooo eighties!” Then I looked more closely and thought, “That’s a lot like our kitchen! Oh no, I have an eighties kitchen!” (Our house was built in 1979.)

Fortunately, I didn’t panic and run out to home depot or one of those really expensive kitchen decorating stores. But I did start to think about decorating and why we do it. Of course, we have an eighties kitchen because that’s when it was built. I can understand changing out things when they are worn out or getting a new floor because it is hopelessly stained, but should we really get granite countertops, tile floors, and stainless appliances just because they are “in style”? And what about those houses that were built in the twenties and thirties or even the fifties and their owners try to keep that look going? What’s the difference between those decades and now?

Of course, the same could be said for clothes and fashion. But at least I try to buy reasonably traditional clothes that will stay in style a long time. And there’s quite a difference between the cost of clothes and granite countertops.

So I’ve decided to keep my kitchen the way it is for now or at least as long as everything’s working. Let’s hear it for the eighties!!

GENIUS DOG!

The genius and I often go to the Sonic Drive-In for hamburgers on Sunday nights. We do this for two reasons: 1) we love their burgers and 2) we can take Rufus with us.

The nearest Sonic to us is in Melrose (a section of town a few miles east of us) so we go a back way to get there without using the interstate. But many times we forget and get on the interstate because we are so accustomed to going that way to other places. Last night was such a time.

We were on I-440 before we realized that we had gone the wrong way and knew we would have to take a round about way to get to our destination. After a while Rufus, who was in my lap, started trembling like he does when we are going to the groomers at Petsmart. That’s when I realized we were going exactly the same route; in fact, we would have to pass right by the store to get to Sonic. So naturally he assumed that we were taking him to get groomed.

No matter how much I assured him that we weren’t going there, he continued to tremble until we had passed up the store and only then did he began to relax. When we pulled into Sonic, he was ecstatic because he was NOT going to visit Daisy, the groomer, and also because he knew he would get a few treats from my hamburger.

I had often suspected that Rufus could recognize where we were going but this experience proved just how smart he is.

The genius was so proud!!

HOUSEKEEPING

How I wish I knew why it is that most of the time I am not a very domestic person, but every once in a while the mood hits me and then I become the best housekeeper around. The last three days has been such a time for me.

On Wednesday I grocery shopped and also stopped at the veggie stand about three blocks from us and ever since I have been cooking up a storm. Everything has been fresh and from scratch and probably not very good for us, but it sure has been fun, both cooking it and eating it. And watching the genius eat it --- that’s the real pleasure. Last night even after a substantial dinner, he ate two helpings of peach cobbler a la mode that I had whipped up that afternoon.

I have also washed clothes to beat the band besides unpacking and storing away the luggage. Then today, I went on a cleaning tear in the kitchen and afterwards shampooed carpets until my back couldn’t take anymore.

Now my big question is why do I get these “spells”? And why can’t I keep the motivation going? I know myself well enough by now not to expect this season of enjoying housekeeping to last. But I would give anything if I were like this all the time and took pleasure in this kind of activity. (So would the genius!)

All I know to do is to keep at it as long as the mood stays with me and maybe one of these days it will be lasting. I’m such an optimist!

DISCOVERING A GOOD BOOK

I love to stumble upon a good book that I had had no idea I would enjoy and then have it be a jewel for me. That’s what I have recently done with The Shack.

Before I read it, I had heard both pros and cons about it; some said it was too liberal and others thought it was too conservative. What I have found in reading it is just plain interesting without putting labels on it. What I do know is that I can’t go racing through it; I have to take my time and absorb the ideas in it, and that’s not an easy task.

It is a fictional account of a man who has had tragedies in his life that he has been trying to cope with and how he is able to work through them. Sounds pretty mundane and depressing, doesn’t it? I don’t like reading about “bad things” in a person’s life, but for some reason, I stuck with it and I’m so glad I did. Besides being well written and interesting, I have found it very inspiring.

So, if you find the time and your curiosity is piqued, pick up a copy and read it. I would like to know what others think about it.

THE GENIUS, RUFUS, AND ME

JOY! JOY! JOY! I feel like I’ve died and gone to heaven! The genius is spoiling me rotten and I love it! I guess Rufus wasn’t the only one who missed me while I was in San Antonio.

Every morning since I’ve been home, my dear husband has gotten Rufus from my bed and taken him out and then fed him, thus allowing me to sleep late. After the genius leaves for work, the dog comes back to bed with me and usually settles down for an additional nap.

This morning, however, was a little different; he decided to go downstairs and bark his head off and it was still dark! I called to him and he came right up and settled down --- I think he thought everyone had left him.

Then at 7:30 he jumped up and ran down the steps, barking like crazy. I decided to wait it out and was cozying down under the covers again when Jesse jumped on the bed too! Laurie had dropped her off for her usual two days with us and I had forgotten all about it. Well, of course, there was no going back to sleep --- the bed quickly became a wrestling arena for them.

But my whole point is how nice it is not to have to go out into the heat or rain or cold first thing every morning --- that can be quite a rude awakening, especially for someone like me who takes a while to wake up.

I think I’ll keep the genius around for a while longer!!

THE PICTURES ABOVE ARE OF OUR LITTLE POOL WE DISCOVERED AND THE RIVER WALK

STARTING HOME

BJ and I are all checked out of the Wyndam La Cascada, but we are hanging around here until time to go to the airport. We would rather wait here than at the airport. Besides, waiting here gives us time on the internet.

We could only get online on the first floor so I was a little inconsistent about the blog. Also, I tried very hard to upload some pictures, but they just wouldn't take. I don't know whether it is the computer, the blog, or the connection. I'll try again today, but if there are none it's because I couldn't get it to work.

We've had a great time here, but I must admit I'm ready to get home to the genius and Rufus. The former has been very busy starting his school year, and especially because he has consented to be department chair again. It will definitely be a busy year for him.

But he has managed to get home and spend quality time with the little boy. He told me last night that he had decided to forego his usual workout at the Y and instead just rode his bike up and down our little street so Rufus could see him! Now THAT is a sacrifice!! You can see how this little dog is controlling our lives.

Ah well, at our age, what else do we have to do??

HAVING FUN IN SAN ANTONIO

BJ and I are having a very interesting and relaxing time in San Antonio. We spend a lot of time in our little round pool we discovered that no one else uses. It's nice and cold and we use it frequently since it has been 98-100 degrees here. It's rained only one day and we needed that to recover from all the sun time.

We also spend time eating meals overlooking the River Walk. This is a great time to people watch.

And then yesterday we finally got to see the Alamo. Very interesting even though the fact that it is in the middle of the downtown part of the city is a little disconcerting. I mean didn't John Wayne and Richard Widmark fight off Santa Ana and his gang in the middle of a desert? (I'm not even sure that's who was in the movie, but it was some actors like them.)

Tomorrow we are going to walk through the historic district on our way to eat at a recommended breakfast place. We'll see if it's as good as Brennan's or Camillia's Grill in New Orleans.

SAN ANTONIO WITH BJ

Well, believe it or not, here I am on my last vacation of the summer. BJ and I are using one of her time shares and staying in a very nice place on the San Antonio River right in the heart of down town.

It’s a very nice condo with two bedrooms, two baths, living/dining room and kitchen. There are multiple pools, an exercise room, etc. Of course, we are eating wonderful Mexican meals and doing some sight seeing. Tomorrow we plan to visit the Alamo; after teaching about it for years, I look forward to seeing it in person. Also, we had a relative, Jim (?) Travis from Jackson, Tennessee, who fought and died here.

BJ and I had an eventful trip that started by getting up at 3:00 a.m. to catch our 6:00 flight. But, we had a great flight. It’s been so long since I have flown anything but Southwest, I felt like I was in first class on Frontier Airlines. We had nice wide reserved seats with TVs in front of each seat. Unlike Southwest, though, we had to pay $3.00 for snacks, but we did get free drinks.

Since we’ve been here, we have really enjoyed the pools --- one is a round “mineral water pool” that is set off by itself and not much used by others. We just discovered it today and will probably frequent it from now on.

If I get a chance, I will post some pictures to share with you. So far, I have forgotten to take my camera when we go out, but I’ll try to do better.

VISITING WITH OLD FRIENDS

Speaking of friendships, I had lunch with my two first grade friends, Judy and Janice, yesterday. Besides my daughter-in-law’s mother, these two are my friends of longest standing. I always enjoy talking with them and getting caught up on their news. Judy brought pictures of her new house in Memphis and I had copied out some stories about the three of us from my blog. So we had a great time reminiscing over a long lunch.

Judy reminded me of another time where we almost got into trouble in the fifth grade. We were playing on the school grounds after school one day when we became thirsty. So, in search of water, we found an open window in our own portable classroom that faced the playground, and Judy, because she was tall, was able to get in through the window with the help of an older teenaged boy who was hanging about. For some reason, probably because I was too short, I stayed outside --- thirsty.

The next day Judy was called to the office and questioned about her escapade --- it just so happened that the school was missing some items out of that room the next morning. Since some of the other children had seen her climb in, naturally she was suspected. But it turned out that it was the older guy who helped her get in who apparently came back later and took some things from the room. She and I were both scared to death, she because she had actually been in the building, and I because of guilt by association.

What a time the three of us had when we were little. I’m sure that we have forgotten half of our adventures and that’s probably just as well!!

MAKING FRIENDS

I have been thinking about friendships and making friends. I have noticed that one way to strike up conversations with strangers is by having Rufus with me. I met several people in Florida last week when he was with me. But for some reason, I don’t have the knack to lead the conversation into deeper territory and make friends.

My sister MA has that ability. She will be on the beach and meet someone, start talking to them, and before you know it, she and her husband are being invited to dinner at the people’s house. She’s made many friends this way and kept the friendships too.

And my father was that way, too (that must be where she gets it). Daddy was raised in rural Mississippi and never knew a stranger. I can remember many times we would be sitting on my grandfather’s front porch and way down the road you could see a trail of dust coming. That immediately got everyone’s attention and we would start guessing who it could be. When the car or truck came into view, it was almost always recognized. Then the speculating would begin as to where the man was going and what he was doing (I can’t ever remember any females driving a car, so it was always a male). That night at church my father would approach the man and in a very friendly manner find out what his mission was that day. And no one was offended!!

Daddy had a way about him that just drew people to him, especially women. I’m not suggesting in any way that he ever wandered, but women liked being around him because he was friendly and made them laugh. My mother, who took it all in stride, used to say, “Those women at his church are just waiting for me to die so they can go after him.” And I’m pretty sure she was right! The problem is that Daddy went first, and the women had to find someone else. Over 500 people, many of them women, attended his funeral. And there were not many dry eyes in the house (or church).

Well, church is a great place to meet people and make friends. and I’m grateful that we have done that at ours. There’s just one problem though: at our age about the time we make some good friends, one of them gets sick or has to have knee surgery or some other misfortune occurs due to the aging process and we have to do without them for a while.

That’s another problem with growing old!!

INTELLIGENT CONVERSATION

Years ago the genius and I each took a do-it-yourself-at-home version of a compatibility test and discovered what we already suspected: at the top of the list for both of us was intellectual compatibility. In other words, the one area of our marriage we both valued above all others was our ability to hold intelligent, stimulating conversations with each other. We have spent many hours discussing politics, religion, parenting, the daily news, etc. Even when we talk about the mundane everyday events of our lives, both of us are always interested in what the other one has to say. We may not always agree, but we almost always find pleasure in our discussions.

That said, I am now beginning to wonder if all that is changing. Lately, it seems, that the subject foremost in our minds is the elimination habits of Rufus! When one of us takes the dog out for a walk, we feel obligated to report to the other what the results were. The accounts may go something like the following:

1) “He finally peed after walking all the way down to the end of the street.”
2) “He peed three times – must have been a lot of dogs out this morning.”
3) “He had a long pee! He must have had a ton of water to drink today!”

Of course, the best thing to hear is “He did both!”

Unlike Jesse, Rufus is not the kind of dog one can just take out into the yard and expect him to do his business and go back in. Oh no, he has to piddle around (no pun intended) a long time before he decides to go, even if it’s first thing in the morning. And honestly, with my imagination the way it is, in wanting him to get it over with, I find myself having to go and can hardly make it back into the house.

This morning was the cruncher, though. The genius left before I woke up to keep an early appointment but took Rufus outside so I could sleep in. After his meeting, he called to give me a report on Rufus and what he did, or more exactly what he didn’t do.

After I hung up, I began to think about this latest subject we seem to be fixated on and decided that perhaps we need to get back to religion or politics. It seems that we are stuck in an intellectual rut!!

THIS IS LOOKING DOWN FROM OUR TOP DECK INTO THE WATER AS IT SPLASHES AGAINST THE SEA WALL UNDER OUR CONDOS.

THIS VIEW FROM THE SIDE SHOWS THE STEPS BEGINNING TO PULL AWAY FROM THE WALL. BY THE TIME WE LEFT, THEY WERE DANGLING.

HOME AGAIN FOR A WHILE

My joy over the internet connection was short-lived as it soon went out and when I called about it, I was told that we didn’t have it at our condos at all; I had just lucked into a piggy-back on someone else’s. So I was not able to write anymore while we were at the Cape.

We are now home after driving all day yesterday. I’m happy to report that Rufus was great to travel with, as usual. He slept almost the whole way, only waking for the rest areas where he had a ball with all the new smells.

Speaking of the Cape, the operation for refurbishing the beach there is amazing. (As you can see from the pictures above, the beach in front our condos is about gone!) The genius and I drove down until we could see where they were adding the sand. The beach had about 100 yards of new sand where they had piped it in. It was quite an operation. I am hoping that they will get to our condos before November so I can go for the month like I did last year. But I will just have to wait and see.

We had a great time in spite of the fact that we felt we were on a boat. And we capped the week off by attending the annual Scallop Festival in Port Saint Joe on Saturday. I’ve never seen so much good looking food, but of course we stuck to the scallops, which were delicious. Rufus was a little intimidated by all the people and a few dogs, but people made over him as usual. “He’s just the cutest thing!” or “He’s so cute!” were remarks we heard a lot. But all he wanted to do was eat!

So now I’m resting up this week for my last venture of the season: BJ and I are flying to San Antonio next Sunday for a week there on the River Walk. My little red suitcase is getting quite a workout!!