FRIDAY NIGHT AT THE CLUB

The genius and I enjoy Friday nights at the club probably more than any other night of the week. And last night was no exception. The lounge was almost full of people doing the same as we were, just hanging out and relaxing. Occasionally, people glance over at the news on TV, but mostly we just visit with each other and eat.

Last night I noticed two women whom I didn’t know sitting at one table. One was a forty-ish and attractive blond and the other a white-haired slightly stooped older lady. They conversed with each other over a glass of wine almost the whole time we were there. The older one finally got up to use the bathroom and I heard someone call her by name. I realized then who it was: Jim had grown up across the street from her and her family. She was a young bride when they moved in and she and her husband raised several children in that house.

So the genius and I decided to stop by their table and speak to her when we got ready to leave.

Here’s the kicker. She is in her late 70’s and still a principal at a local public elementary school. I was astonished! Here I am at 68, retired, and having absolutely no desire to be otherwise, and here is this former “Lady of the Bracelet” at Vanderbilt (a very high honor), living in Belle Meade most of her life, and she is still thriving as a principal!! My hat (if I had one) is off to her. I’ll bet she goes until she is in her eighties.

She and the genius are cut from the same mold!!!

SUMMER SCHEDULE

I can tell already that this summer is going to be different in several ways from my usual peaceful, sometimes boring, life of the other three seasons. My time is not “my own” now; I have to share it with the genius who has a different schedule – an unpredictable one! And I can see that writing the blog may be a little difficult, also; we will just have to see.

Besides having the genius at home at various times during the day, Rufus has decided that 5:30 or 6:00 is a good time to wake up each morning. I think I can solve this problem by doing what I did yesterday: stagger outside with him in tow while he does his business, feed him his breakfast, and grope my way back to bed, leaving the door ajar so that he can come back in if he desires. That way I can get an hour or two more shut-eye.

Today I was up at 6:15 with the idea of doing the same, but remembered that the “bugman cometh” this morning and I knew it was no use to even contemplate more sleep. So I arose and had coffee with the genius before he went in for his “final” workday. I put that in quotes because I know he will go in all summer for some reason or another. (When he retires for good, we will have to rent an office somewhere so he will feel like he’s still going to work --- and I will have some time to myself!)

Those who know me well know that I require a lot of time alone. Payton, our fourteen year old grandchild, is the same, spending hours by herself in her room. It’s not that I don’t enjoy other people around – I do – very much! But I also like my alone time where I can read or spend time on the computer. That’s one reason why I usually take a nap when I’m on vacation (I can see my family saying, “Uh-huh!” on that statement because I also like to nap at home.)

All of this to say that during the summers it’s not the same. The next few months are chock full of different events: cataract surgery for the genius, a trip to Toronto for him, then both of us to New Orleans with the sisters, Ashley’s visit, vacation to NC mountains with some of the family, then to Cape San Blas, FL for the genius and me and other family members if they desire, and I will finish out the summer going to San Antonio with BJ for a week. All that and I didn’t even include the overnight stay that the sisters and I will do alone next week at a Tennessee state park about an hour away, something we do every year. You would never know that gas prices are high as far as our family is concerned, the way we tool around all over the country. I guess we’ll just cut corners somewhere else.

Vive les summer!!!

SUMMERTIME!!

Well, as you’ve been able to see, I’m back home after getting Bailey officially “grajitated” and now the summer begins. The season doesn’t officially start, of course, until June 21, but the weather doesn’t know that. It has suddenly turned hot and sticky over the Memorial Day weekend.

In Arizona they had the strangest weather I’ve ever seen. The day before I arrived it was 110° and by the time I got there, the temperature had dropped 30° with winds at 25 mph. When I left four days later it was still cloudy/rainy and cooler than it was in Nashville. I was very grateful for the low temps, but was disappointed that there was very little sunshine the whole time I was there. Of course, the locals loved it and talked about how coooold it was and how nice the rain was. Since I had had this type of weather all spring, I was ready for a little sunshine. I’m not complaining, however; it was very comfortable.

The spring here has been very wet, and as a result, everything is green and lush. All around our house is solid green; we can no longer see any houses down the street, it’s so grown up next to our driveway. It feels like we are in the middle of the country. Very nice and private.

And today is the first day we get to keep Jay and Annie while Laurie works. We always keep them one day a week during the summer, and it’s a great way to stay in touch with them. Jay is eleven and Annie almost eight. They are the youngest of all the grandchildren and a pleasure to have around.

I do have to wait in line for the laptop, however. They both like the games I have on it, and even though I have plenty on the desk top upstairs, that’s not the same. So I finally had to kick them off so I could write my blog this morning. At the moment, they are not too happy with me.

Next Monday I will be spending a day and night at a state park about an hour’s drive north. The sisters and I have met there for several years to spend some time together just hanging out and catching up on our news. At the end of June we with our husbands are spending several days in the French Quarter in New Orleans. As I’ve written before, this is a favorite spot for us and we want to do it one more time at least.

Let’s hope we can behave ourselves this time!!

THE SOUTHERN GENTLEMAN

The genius is a perfect example of the true Southern gentleman. He always takes my elbow when we walk up or down stairs and stays between me and the traffic when we are on sidewalks. You can count on him to stand when a woman comes into the room and pull chairs out for them when sitting down to a meal. I must admit that it is very nice to me to be treated in such a respectful manner.

Some women would resent being taken care of in this way, but I like it; however, I do agree that being married to such a man can have its downside at times. For instance, especially when we first married, there was a very clear difference between the two genders. I was expected to do all the housework with very little help from him. His job around the house has been to take out the trash, do the yard work, and handle any business relating to the cars.

The kitchen was off limits for him except to eat in it. I well remember the first time he said to me, “I’m really thirsty; do we have any juice in the refrigerator?”

My answer was, “I’m sure we do.”

Long pause with an expectant look on his face. (At home he was accustomed to having his mother or grandmother jump up and get him a glass filled with whatever he requested.) I wasn’t going there, however, and he reluctantly began getting his own drinks.

Over the years he has mellowed about the housework: he does laundry, occasionally vacuums, and often helps me clean up the kitchen after a meal. One thing he still does not like to do, however, is to go to the grocery. So yesterday when he offered to go with me to the store, I was very pleased and said I would like his company. Off we went to buy a few items.

It was raining so he let me off at the door and went to park the car (a mistake, as it turned out). We did the “divide and conquer” approach to getting the groceries and soon we were checking out. It was still raining when we went outside and when we got to the car, I saw that he had backed it in, something he usually does no matter where we are. So we had to load it into the back seat around the open car door because there was no room to push the basket to the other side of the door. There we were, standing in the rain, loading the groceries in this awkward manner that took twice as long.

On the way home, I said, “I feel a blog coming on.”

He replied, “Hey, if you start making fun of me, I won’t be inclined to go to the store again.”

But the incident was too much to resist.

I'm sorry that I haven't posted for a few days, but I've been getting ready for a trip to Phoenix, AZ, to be present at our third child's graduation from high school. And now I'm here waiting for Bailey's big night.

I flew in yesterday on kind of a rough flight. The wind was 25 miles per hour on the ground and that landing was something else! A few years ago I would have been using the barf bag, or crying, or begging for a parachute. But I'm happy to say that that did not happen and I will be flying again in a few days.

I got off the plane, expecting to see Ashley alone, but to my surprise there was Tommy, our oldest, standing there with her holding a bouquet of flowers. After hugs, he handed them to me and said they were a peace offering for all the grief he has given me in his comments. He is none other than T squared on the comments section, and he has made fun of his blogging grandmother on occasion. Of course, I've loved every minute of it because it shows his sense of humor and his love for me. Anyway, I was very touched and the flowers are now on prominent display at Ashley's house.

We had a great meal last night which we cooked in the center of the table on a new grill they had purchased. The nine of us were kept busy throwing meat and veggies on the grill and eating each piece as they were done. Not only was it fun, but the food was delicious. Ashley and Mike are both superb cooks.

And I am getting to sleep late!! I slept until 10:20 Nashville time this morning and feel very refreshed. Of course, Rufus won't let me do that at home. If I can sleep until 7:00, I feel like it's a good night.

I'll try to keep all you readers informed while I am here in Phoenix. Meanwhile, pray for the genius and Rufus that they won't miss me too badly!

THE GENIUS AND HIS FINANCES

Even though the genius and I have been married almost forty-eight years, I am constantly learning new things about him. The other day we were running some errands and he had some business at his bank. So he whips out a check to deposit and also a check for cash made out for $294.00. Of course, I had to ask why such an odd amount.

His answer was that he ALWAYS makes his checks for odd amounts – no even numbers for him! I’m still not completely sure why except that he wants different types of bills in his wallet and that he’s always done it that way.

He never rounds numbers up or down. If you ask him, for example, how many people were at a function, he will say “Oh, probably twenty-two.” Numbers ending in zero have rarely been in his vocabulary.

Now, I can envision my checkbook if I had all those uneven numbers to add and subtract; it’s hard enough with the numbers I have, but to make it worse is beyond me. But the genius is not at all daunted by all that, of course. Every night he empties his pockets and counts how much money he has and he knows exactly where any cash he spent has gone.

Every morning without fail, he calls the automatic number at the bank and gets an update, including check numbers, amounts, etc. He is aware at all times exactly how much money is his account, as well as our joint account.

One reason I have my own little account is so I won’t have to answer to everything I spend or what’s worse, I don’t have to record. I too know how much I have in the bank. I go online and look at it and get the same info he does. Before online banking, however, I had to rely on the ATM when I withdrew money. You can see why I don’t handle the finances in our family.

The “his, mine, and ours” bank accounts work just fine for us. He can keep his complicated books to the penny and I have the freedom to manage my small amount anyway I want.

I can only hope and pray that I go first or I’d have to move to a nursing home where there are no bills except the rent every month.

FOLLOW-UP ON MISSISSIPPI

I received an email from MA about yesterday’s blog. She was bemoaning the fact that she had missed out on some fun by staying in town with Juanice (pronounced Wa-neese with the accent on the second syllable) instead of out in the country with us. When she was younger, she actually did stay out there and slept at Uncle Sidney’s across the pasture from us. She said that she and our cousin Hilda slept on a quilt on the hard floor.

On Saturdays Uncle Sidney paid MA and Hilda a nickel each to clean out the little church in preparation for the Sunday services. She wrote, “We used to walk barefoot on the dirt road, open the church, sweep it out, open windows and try to get all the wasps out, and dust the benches.” They thought it was fun and were glad to get the money to spend.

However, she also had some very interesting experiences by staying in town. One day when they were teenagers, she and Juanice were walking down the dirt road into town (about 2 blocks from their house) and they saw some boys they knew. They decided to follow them and see what they were up to. The boys were not aware that they were being followed and when they came to a swimming hole, they stripped down to their birthday suits and jumped in. Still not knowing they had an audience, they continued to get out and jump back in over and over. The girls, who “saw EVERTHING,” became embarrassed and “ran like crazy” but not before the boys spotted them. MA said that night they went to church and all the guys were there. She was too embarrassed even to speak to them.

So sliding down a haystack seems pretty mild and boring when compared to watching nude boys swim. I believe that BJ and I missed out on a few events ourselves by staying on the farm!!

MORE MISSISSIPPI MEMORIES

BJ reminded me of an event that happened to us as children when we were visiting our relatives in Mississippi. As I’ve said before, every summer we would stay a few weeks with our grandparents out in a rural part of the state and live a very primitive existence --- which we loved.

MA always stayed with our cousins in the one horse town of Toccopola about three miles away, so we usually didn’t see much of her once we got down there. Mother, BJ, and I bedded down in the tiny bedroom of the very small house that belonged to our grandparents.

I wonder sometimes what our relatives thought of us. When we visited them we always wore shorts and T shirts or tops except on Sundays. Our female cousins, on the other hand, wore only dresses all the time. Also, we were very ignorant of “country” ways.

One time we rode into Toccopola to pick up something at the general store, and I distinctly remember walking down the wooden sidewalk past the usual contingent of old men in overalls sitting around. One of the men said, “Hello, boys.” We didn’t even look at them as we kept walking, but I said, “Girls” in a pleasant voice as we passed them. They must have thought that we were pretty snobby, and I guess we were, but even now I’m glad that I wasn’t embarrassed by their comment.

But that’s not the incident I was going to relate. Our grandparents’ tiny shack sat on my Uncle Howard’s property out behind his barn, but the property was adjacent to another’s uncle’s farm also. We could see their rickety old house across the pasture where Aunt Mary and Uncle Sidney lived with numerous children and grandchildren.

BJ and I loved to roam the land down behind the little house out of sight of the adults playing all kinds of games. One time when we were about seven and ten, we were exploring and came across a big haystack. For some reason we thought it was perfectly all right to climb on top of it and slide down, which we did --- over and over again. We really had a ball.

That night after supper when it was still light, we were playing out on a huge tree stump in front of the little house while the grown ups sat on the front porch. Our cousin James who was much older than we were came riding across the pasture on his horse. He was going down into the back pasture, he said, to check things out. Pretty soon he came back and said, “Well, it looks like the cows got into my haystack today. I guess I’ll have to put up a better fence.” BJ and I looked at each other and never said a word. I really believe that was the first inkling we had that we had made a mistake in assuming the haystack was for anything other than our pleasure.

As I said, I wonder what they thought of us city children who were so different from them. Some of them must have dreaded our coming and were glad to see us leave.

HAIR, FIFTIES STYLE

The subject that I have chosen to write about today is one that will probably gross out anyone not of my own generation, but I’m doing it anyway. I believe it represents an era that is no longer around, and unless we go back to a form of primitive living due to a catastrophic event, we will not see this type of living again. What I’m talking about is “hair” and how we used to take care of it.

I remember the first time I mentioned to the children that we girls washed our hair only once a week when we were little and on up into our married years. They were totally disgusted. But let’s think about what equipment we had to work with and how we had to go about it.

In the first place, there were no hair products except shampoo. No conditioner, no mousse, no waxes, or even hair spray. Secondly, there were no hair dryers except in the “beauty parlors” and they were the kind on a stand. So we were reduced to washing our hair, usually rolling it wet and sleeping on the uncomfortable curlers all night. I distinctly remember rolling the ends up into little flat curls against my head and clamping a clip in to hold it. (Many times I woke up the next morning only to find one of them had come down during the night and I had curls everywhere and one straight piece.) You can see why our hairdos were so flat on top of our heads.

Right after we washed our hair was the worst time to do anything with it. It was so soft and fine that the curl would fall out during the day. It was always more manageable and looked better a day or two later. Most of us had to continue to roll our hair each night so the “set” would stay in. Amazingly, our hair was accustomed to this type of cleansing and it didn’t get oily until maybe the last day. I promise! I’m convinced that hair can get used to this type of treatment, but we are so determined to wash it everyday (or more!) that it can’t get into that cycle.

This is the way BJ did hers when she was in college. She would change her sheets every other Thursday night and wash her hair every Thursday night. During the first week of clean sheets, she slept on one side of the pillow and the next week, she turned her pillow over and used the clean side for her clean hair. Now that’s organized!

All that changed with the hand held dryer, plus curling iron, plus hot rollers. Also, we have all sorts of hair products that helps hold our “do” in place all day. And then we do the same process all over again the next morning.

I guess it’s worth it, especially after a remark I received last summer at the high school reunion. A wife I had never met said to me after looking at my 1957 picture, “You look much better now. The hairstyles were just not becoming back then!”

MORE ON MOVIES

I certainly enjoyed all the comments on the movies. Obviously, they are a big part of our lives and we all have our favorites. Before we move on to another subject, I remembered a few more that I have enjoyed watching over and over.

How could all of us forget the Pink Panther movies with Peter Sellers? When his fake nose began to melt off, I laughed until I cried. And I distinctly remember watching that with my children after they were grown and we were all “in pain” over laughing so hard. So I would have to add that one.

Also, I totally forgot The Sting --- a great one with an interesting plot besides being funny in spots. I am surprised that no one put down Gone With the Wind. That was certainly a classic. I’m sure that we have forgotten some, especially those of us who have not been so organized to keep a list and rank them!

I trust that all the mothers out there in readerland had a good Mother’s Day. I surely did and it always makes me realize how blessed I am to have three such great children. Being and a wife and mother was my true calling in life and I couldn’t ask for any other.

Thanks again, everyone, for sharing all your favorite movies with us. Now I think I’ll go watch a movie about mothers!!

MOVIES!!!

Yesterday the genius was telling me about his day. He has basically finished his AP math class for the year since the AP test was this week and was talking to his class about what they could do for the remainder of the semester. One of the students asked him what kind of movies he liked. In typical genius behavior, he whipped out his list of his all time top twenty-one (?) movies and proceeded to read them off.

I can just imagine the faces of the boys when he did this. They asked him why he would list out his favorite movies and WHY did he carry them around with him in his wallet?!? Then he told them that he has them saved on the computer also. They couldn’t believe it --- they’ll be talking about this one for some time.

What followed was a discussion of his list: #1 is Stand and Deliver, #2 Shawshank Redemption, and that’s all I know of the actual rankings. I do know that Hanoi Hilton, Chariots of Fire, Cool Hand Luke, Schindler’s List, and The Long Walk Home are all on the list. Of course, most of them the boys had never heard of many of them. But one of them mentioned The Sandlot and the genius agreed that maybe that should be on his list, also.

As for me, I can’t list mine in a certain order. I could probably come up with a list of about twenty, but even then I’m not sure. I always say when asked that I like “feel good” movies like the ones made from Jane Austen novels or You’ve Got Mail or My Big Fat Greek Wedding. I certainly watch the Austen movies over and over, but I also have a few favorites that the genius is continually surprised about: The Godfather movies I and II, Tombstone, The Scent of a Woman.

All of these have bad language and most are very violent. But what I like about them is the superb acting in each one. I am continually amazed at Al Pacino, Marlon Brando, Robert Duval, and Robert DeNiro in the Godfathers and Kurt Russell and Val Kilmer in Tombstone. So I guess these three would top my list, but I too would have to add The Sandlot --- that’s a classic.

I’m interested to hear some of YOUR favorites and invite you to do so by leaving your comments.

WRITING ACCORDING TO PEG

The amazing thing about my writing this blog is that I never enjoyed writing!! Whenever I had to write any type of paper in high school or college, I would struggle to put on paper the ideas I wanted to convey and when I was through, I was exhausted. So how in the world am I able to keep this up on an almost daily basis and what’s more, enjoy it thoroughly?? The answer for me lies in what kind of writing it is.

When I was in school, I had to read and research and basically put down in my own words what others had said about the subject. I really didn’t have that many creative notions on my own. What’s more, I had to follow all the rules of grammar and that can be soooo tiresome when you’re striving for perfection (or an A).

And the students now have no idea how tedious it was to type a paper on a typewriter back in the fifties. First, if you made a typo, you had to erase with a special type of eraser that never really got rid of the original mark. Secondly, the notes all had to be at the bottom of the page of the quote or idea you had borrowed, so you had to be really careful to leave enough room to get those in. There was no foolproof way to do this, either; many times I had to do a whole page over because I had misjudged how much space to leave. It’s no wonder I didn’t like to write.

My sisters and I were blessed in one way, however; we had a grammar “tyrant” for a mother. She never let us get away with mistakes like “to you and I,” “where is something at,” or “me” as a subject of a sentence. She corrected us until we got it right. Now whenever I hear these mistakes, I want to do the same, especially after teaching grammar for eighteen years. Alas, my own children (and even most English teachers I know!) make some of the same mistakes, so somehow I failed in that area.

But NOW when I write, I am free to put my thoughts down and not worry about the errors. Oh, I know when I make them (for instance, I should never use the word “you” the way I do; I would have counted off for that no-no). I am not as careful about commas either. But I have noticed when I read novels, that authors are not very particular about that either. So I just put them in when I think I need a pause rather than follow the rules. One rule I DO follow just out of habit, I suppose, is that commas and periods ALWAYS go inside the quotes. But then I notice in England they don’t follow that rule, so it’s probably not that important anyway.

In fact, WHO DECIDES what is correct and what isn’t? Who made the rules in the first place? So I’m just going to continue to write for enjoyment and try not to be hampered by rules and regulations.

AT LAST --- I’M FREE FROM GRAMMAR LAWS!!

OBITUARIES REVISITED

As I have mentioned before, I daily read the local obituaries mainly to see if anyone I know has died, but I also find it very entertaining at times. Last week I came across one that had both elements, and I had to share it with you.

This was about a man named Bobby whom the genius and I had known for years through the tennis world. He played himself and also had a son who played with Jim IV. Bobby, who was somewhat of a character, also set several records as a Gator quarterback, (one broken only this year by Tim Tebow), so we had that connection also. I feel strongly he would have approved what his family wrote about him in his obit.

Besides listing all of his achievements as an athlete, the article had this to say:

“Bobby died in the company of friends Thursday afternoon on the tennis court, leading 5-0 for the match. What a perfect way for this amazing competitor to go.”

I believe that Bobby went out the same way he spent his time on this earth --- in a colorful way, living life to the fullest!!

PUTTING ON THE DOG

Yesterday Brenda and the kids and I took Rufus with us to the Tennessee Arts and Crafts Association Fair at Centennial Park. It is a semi-annual affair that we attend and always enjoy it. It’s not your country “artsy-craftsy” stuff that you see at some fairs --- these items are really unusual and very pricey.

Everything is hand made: lots of yard art sculptures, jewelry of all types, stained glass, copper items, wooden bowls, etc. etc. Brenda bought a beautiful set of wind chimes made of solid cylinders of red glass; I bought a turquoise colored stained glass cross for my window. We rarely ever come away empty handed.

It was a gorgeous day --- low seventies and low humidity, couldn’t have asked for a better one. As a result, there were crowds of people there. And lots of dogs.

I gave Rufus a bath before we went and he was all fluffed out, looking his best. After all, I knew there would be plenty of attention and I was not wrong. Many people ewwwed and ahhhhed over him and wanted to pet him. He was unusually docile except occasionally when he would see another dog and then he would bark his high pitched yap. He also wanted to be carried a lot, a sign he was overwhelmed at times. Mostly, he behaved very well and did me proud.

I overheard one girl ask another if she wanted to buy anything and the other answered, “No, I only come to see the dogs.”

RUFUS AND Y'MOMMY AT THE "DOG" FAIR

GAMES AND PUZZLES

As I’ve mentioned before, I have enjoyed puzzles and games ever since I was a small girl. Someone made a picture of me working a puzzle and according to the date on the back, I was three years old at the time. So I have enjoyed this activity for some time (no wise cracks, please).

This love of games continued on into my teenaged years and I especially remember playing Rook with BJ and my father often. We were all three very competitive, but Daddy could be reckless at times. We used to have an end table in the living room that had a drawer full of photographs the backs of which we kept score on and recently I discovered some of these in my own picture collection. I laughed when I saw that many times Daddy had the lowest score because he would over bid his hand.

We played all kinds of card games; Rook was just one of them. I remember crazy eights, casino, rummy, war, slap-jack, I doubt it, and the old favorite, go fish. We had a game called authors that was like go fish, I think, except that it had pictures of famous classical authors. It was a great way to become familiar with some grand old names.

When I was a sophomore in high school, MA got married. Before her wedding, someone gave a bridge party for her, and of course, BJ and I were invited. We had a crash course in the game before the party, but it didn’t help us much. She and I finished dead last, and I know some of the partners we had would like to have thrown the cards at us. I liked the game, though, and continued to hone my skills with some other friends throughout high school.

Then, as I’ve said before, I played a lot of bridge when I went off to college, many times at the expense of going to classes.

When I met the genius, I learned that he also was a card player. His specialty was really poker, but he liked bridge and played it often at his fraternity house. After we married, we continued to play.

When he was in the Army, we began playing duplicate bridge, which is a little more competitive than contract bridge, which the majority of people play. Duplicate is not dependent on what kind of cards a person is dealt since everyone plays the same hands and competes with other players that way. Later, after we moved back to Nashville, we were in a duplicate bridge club and enjoyed it thoroughly.

And then we stopped playing. Every so often I would join in a game, but it has only been since I retired that I have picked it back up again. And there are new rules!! Many people now bid entirely differently than what I was taught, so I have had to struggle in the clubs I have subbed in.

And then it came last week --- an invitation to join a duplicate bridge club!! I was surprised because I don’t bid like everyone else and they have looked at me a little askance occasionally. But, I have fared well in scoring and I already knew some of the women, so I guess that’s why they asked me. I told one of them that I feel like I did when I was asked to join a sorority.

So I hope I don’t embarrass myself, and I do look forward to being a part of this group.